Is That a Gun in Your Pocket?

Synopsis: If there's one thing that the men of Rockford Texas love as much as their women, it's their guns. But when a gun incident at a neighborhood school spurs one stay at home mom, Jenna (Andrea Anders), to rethink Rockford's obsessive gun culture, life in this idyllic town is turned upside-down. Much to the chagrin of her husband, (Matt Passmore), Jenna ignites a movement by recruiting the women to withhold sex from the men until every gun in Rockford is vanquished. A wild and hilarious showdown ensues between the sexes. As tensions and libidos rise, the men and women of Rockford must decide what's really important: keeping the peace or getting a piece.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Matt Cooper
Production: The Vault
  3 wins.
 
IMDB:
5.8
Metacritic:
7
Rotten Tomatoes:
0%
R
Year:
2016
95 min
$39,361
Website
57 Views


- How's the baby thing coming?

- Nothing yet.

What are the odds two

latinos can't get pregnant?

We're gonna go see a specialist.

Get some fertility drugs.

- You know a woman

in Houston did that,

and she had septuplets.

- Septuplets, holy sh*t.

- Yeah.

- How many is it?

- Seven.

- Seven holy sh*t.

- Yeah each of them

weighed 18 ounces.

- I eat steaks bigger than that.

- Psst, 7 'o clock.

I get first shot.

Morning deer.

- I thought it was on vibrate.

Hello.

- Louis.

- I'm sure he'll

be here any minute.

- He's got the truck mom.

It wouldn't kill you to

go somewhere without him.

- I go lots of

places without him.

- Right.

- All right let's just go.

Lance get off the

rv we're leaving.

Come on.

- Trying to figure out

where to put the dish.

- We're not

getting a satellite dish.

- Ah come on mom they're free.

- Nothing's free Lance.

Now get down before

you break your neck.

- There it

is, man oh man.

- Oh not this grace

land sh*t again.

Cyrus rockford is not the king.

- He's the king around here.

Called

Presley Tennessee.

- Well rockford ain't

exactly Memphis.

You think he's really dead

and people are just pretending

he's alive.

- Elvis?

- Cyrus.

- That is such a

ridiculous rumor.

- Yeah but no one's

seen the guy in years.

I mean isn't that strange?

- Yeah of course it's strange.

Maybe he's got one of those

Howard Hugh things going on.

- All that money must

just rot your brain.

- Oh sh*t.

- Would you stop that?

It's getting old.

- You get a much closer

view through this thing.

Oh yeah.

- Quit it perv.

- Thank you buddy.

- Yep.

- I'm sorry hun,

I lost track of the time.

- Yeah I know hunting

is Glenn time,

but you really need to--

- I texted you.

- Yeah I know you texted me

when the game was over.

- Hey did we win?

- 13, nine.

Kieth recorded it.

- All right.

Well I can watch it back later.

- I drew a bath for you.

- It's Sunday honey.

Supposed to be a day of rest.

And you know you're

not supposed to call me

when we're hunting.

- But I'm in the

middle of my cycle.

My eggs are ready.

- So are mine.

- Didn't you have

breakfast this morning?

- Yeah about two hours ago.

I mean it's almost

lunch.

I feel like a piece of meat.

- I'm hungry.

Ooh oh there he is.

- I was thinking since

we're not going to break up

in the next three weeks,

why do we have to wait?

- We've been going out

for over 11 months kieth,

what's three more weeks?

- Exactly.

- I told you I wanted to wait

until we'd been

going out for a year.

You can wait a little longer.

Maybe I can tide you

over for a while.

- Oh yes.

- You'll wake my parents.

- Thanks hun.

- Breakfast Sandy.

- I'll pick something up later.

- Sit down and eat Sandra.

- Mom.

- I know what goes on with

you girls and your dieting,

no daughter of mine is

going to be anorexic.

- I'm not anorexic.

You're so clueless.

- She's definitely not anorexic.

I've seen her naked.

- Lance you're not helping.

- Lance close your

mouth when you chew

for gods sake.

You sound like an

air compressor.

- Later.

- All right the three

branches of the us government,

what are they?

Kristen.

- Republican, democrat

and independent.

- Those are three

political parties.

Executive, legislative,

and judiciary.

All right, all right.

Let's start with

the legislative.

What two bodies make up

the legislative branch?

- Men and women.

- Kristen I'm starting to

think you fell out of the crib

when you were a baby.

Now come on someone's

got to know this.

How about you Sandy?

Come on keely.

20 years ago I took this

same class with your momma,

and by the way she was

a straight a student.

Some of her must have

rubbed off on you now.

- Well I sure hope not,

otherwise I'd be at home

now making my brothers bed.

- What up Lance?

- What up Timmy.

- You bring it?

- I couldn't find the key.

- So full of sh*t.

- Dude I'm telling you,

he got it in a gun show

in Dallas last week

- I'll believe it when I see it.

Besides how hard is it

to find the key anyway?

I know exactly where

my dad hides his.

- Well I think my mom hid it.

- Doesn't make it tougher.

Probably in their room.

- Come on get a

wiggle on ladies.

- Or in the kitchen.

- The kitchen.

- We're

talking today about how

to keep the romance

alive in your marriage.

- Have an affair.

- Maybe we should

turn the TV off.

- Let's just wait

for the commercial.

- To pick up the

kids from soccer practice,

why not make

appointments for romance.

- Great more crap we gotta do.

- You must not

like it very much?

- Like what?

- Sex.

- Honestly I'd rather just

have a banana boat from the dq.

- I used to love getting

the high hard one.

- Mother.

- Oh stop being such

a prude, Shirley.

You could probably use a

little action yourself.

- I do just fine

thank you very much.

- Oh yeah,

how often do you and bill do it?

- Not that it's any of

your business mother

but since we're airing

our dirty laundry,

I'd say at least once a

month or every three weeks.

- That sucks.

- It's not the quantity,

it's the quality.

- I'm sure that sucks too.

You should be a

shamed of yourself.

I don't think a day

went by for 50 years

that your father and I,

god rest his soul,

didn't f*** each other silly.

- I think I'm gonna be sick.

- Okay Jenna it's your turn.

Fess up how often you and Glenn

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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