Incendiary Page #2

who smells. Won't even let me wash it.

Are you OK?

I'm not in the habit of spilling my guts

to strangers in pubs.

Don't apologise. I understand, if you

need to talk, I'm a very good listener.

I'll get us another couple of drinks and

then you can start at the very beginning.

(Beeping)

These new bomb scares have kicked it

off again. He never used to be like this.

God, it must be so tough.

Makes me feel so terribly shallow.

Why? What do you do?

Oh, I'm a journalist for one of

the national newspapers."The Express".

What do you write about?

Anything from sleazy politicians

to fraudulent city institutions.

My name is Barry Lavis,

I'm here to inspect your VAT receipts,

as authorised by the VAT act of 1968.

- People believe that, do they?

- Sometimes, yeah.

And if I can't get into their heads,

I'll try and get into their beds.

What do you tell people

when you need to get into their beds?

I like you.

- Does that work?

- I don't know... does it?

- My girlfriend's away.

- Oh?

- She's in Paris.

- That's nice.

He isn't back yet. Car's not here.

Well, if he isn't back yet,

why don't you come back to mine?

For a coffee.

No. I'd better get back.

You all right?

Yeah. A stomach virus.

Maybe you should go

and talk to somebody.

It's a stomach bug.

Are you going to the Arsenal game

on Saturday?

Chelsea are going to slaughter you.

(Woman) Nice view.

(Man #3) Yeah.

I think it would be better if I left.

I think it'd be much better if you stayed.

How did it go?

I'm still here, aren't I?

Yeah, love, you still are.

# 10-0 to the Arsenal!

# You're sh*t and you know you are!

You're sh*t and you know you are! #

I wish you wouldn't take him

to the match. It makes me nervous.

What doesn't make you nervous?

Oh, nice.

You could take her up to 170, 180.

You'd have to be in a chopper

to catch someone in one of these.

I'll go down the shops

and get something nice for tea.

Choc-choc chip ice-cream to celebrate

a win. Crisps. Get some beers.

I'm on duty tonight, love.

What? How come?

I thought you had this weekend off?

You could say no sometimes, Lenny.

Bye-bye, precious.

I am precious, aren't I?

Yeah, you are. I'll see you later.

Hand! Can I take my jacket off now?

(Lenny) No, you heard your mum.

(Sirens wailing)

(Man #3) Hello, there.

That's a nice car. I bet it does, what?

- 180 miles an hour?

- Gosh, I never knew you knew cars.

Just goes to show,

you don't know anything about me.

I wouldn't say that.

(Sighs heavily)

Look... the other night was a mistake.

I never should've done that.

- So where are you going?

- Going to the match.

You're gonna be late.

Still, if you're motor does 180 miles

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