In the Army Now Page #2

Marines.!

No.

Did you order a code red?

Answer me!

Did you order

a code red, man?

You want the truth?

You can't handle the truth.

Yea.!

He's goofin' off.

C'mon, Bones.

- Wow, that was my Nicholson impression.

- Good.

I do it sometimes

when I play golf.

- Bones, c'mon, man!

- I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry.

When you join the Army, is it true

you have to give your whole life away?

- Nah. It's nothin' like that with us.

- We're in the Reserves.

What's that?

Let's just get

this straight here.

After our basic training, we owe you

two weeks a year and one weekend a month...

for which we get paid.

And on top of it, you're gonna throw in

$2,500 just for signing up?

Basically, yes.

Wow! Then how come everybody

isn't in the Reserves?

Do people actually know

about this stuff?

Well, we do try

to advertise.

Oh, yeah.

"It's not a job, it's an adventure. "

No, that's the Navy.

- "The few and the proud"?

- No, that's the Marines.

Hmm. "Keep going,

going and gone"?

- No, no. That's the, um, Energizer bunny.

- Gentlemen.

We're,

"Be all you can be. "

# In the Ar-Army #

You need us,

and we need you.

It's a win-win situation.

I got one more question.

Could I get a pen?

Oh, no. Actually, could

we just have a second...

- uh, amongst ourselves?

- Certainly.

Take all the time

you need.

Just hold

that ballpoint.

Whew.!

- Just one-

- C'mere.

This is insane!

"Why doesn't everybody join?"

- Weren't you listening to him in there?

- Shh.

- It's like joining a health spa, only they pay us.

- You're going nuts.

We are the beneficiaries. We get

a guaranteed check for eight years...

- and a special skill.

- A special skill? Yeah, yeah.

- Look at the pamphlets.

- Yeah, here we go.

- "Land Combat Missile Op"?

- Opportunities!

"Tactical Fire

Specialist"?

You heard him talkin'

about combat pay.

You have to be in combat to

get paid for that, right?

He said Reserves aren't called up

unless there's a major conflict.

- When was the last war, huh? World War ll?

- Yeah!

- No!

- Twenty years ago.

Have you ever heard

of Vietnam, huh?

- Desert Storm? No?

- Uh-uh.

- What?

- I'm kidding. Gimme the brochure.

- We're gonna go to the Unemployment Office.

- Just let me see.

Let me just check. "Tank Turret Repair,

Land Mining Specialist. "

"Water purification"?

Water purification!

- That's it.

- What?

Water purification.

I'm telling you, it's a snap.

My brother's a pool man. Look, you take

dirty water and you make it clean.

- How hard can that be?

- I don't know.

And if there is a war,

what are we gonna go in there with?

Water balloons?

- That's- I mean- But, but-

- Jack.

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