In Her Shoes Page #3

I have to face the world...

and I'd rather not do it

looking like a $20 hooker.

Oh, come on. I promise you'll

still look like you, just better.

[ Gasps ]

Let's go pick out an outfit

for inspiration. Shoes.

- I don't have-

- Shoes!

[ Groans ]

You know...

you don't even wear most of these.

Shoes like these should not

be locked in a closet.

They should be living

a life of scandal and passion...

getting screwed in an alleyway by a billionaire

while his frigid wife waits in the limo...

thinking that he just went back into the bar

to get his cell phone.

- These are cute too.

- Please tell me you just made that up.

Look, if you're not gonna wear them,

don't buy them.

Leave them for somebody who's

gonna get something out of them.

I get something out of them.

When I feel bad,

I like to treat myself.

Clothes never look any good.

Food just makes me fatter.

Shoes always fit.

[ MUSIC ] [ Disco ]

- Don't slouch.

-Something for you ladies?

I think we're gonna

just take a minute. Thanks.

- I thought I was getting a drink out of this.

- Patience.

Eww! Maggie, no.

How would you ladies like

to join us for something wet?

- What is that?

- It's a vagina.

You know what? Sydelle's right.

You're completely obscene.

Why, because I say "vagina"?

[ Imitating Sydelle ] "Michael,

I don't know what's wrong with your girls.

My Marcia never uses the word 'vagina'!"

Oh, no, my Marcia

doesn't even have a vagina!

Oh, my Marcia has a vagina,

all right...

but my Marcia's vagina is made

of solid 2 4-karat gold.

My Marcia's vagina is so perfect,

it's in a museum!

[ Maggie, Rose Laughing ]

What can I get you girls?

We'll have two stacks

of whole wheat honey pancakes...

and a side ofbacon, please.

- Thank you.

- Thank you very much.

Oh, and, uh, are you hiring?

I'll bring an application.

My Marcia never eats pancakes.

That's why my Marcia

still wears a m-

What?

I can't believe you just did that.

Did what?

"Are you hiring?"

[ Scoffs ] God, Rose,

we were having fun for once.

- It's an opportunity.

- To do what?

To work the graveyard shift serving pancakes

to cops and whores and drunks.

I think you should work, so you don't

have to mooch off me for everything.

What are you talking about?

I just got us two rounds of drinks.

No. Cuervo Carl got the drinks, and only

because he hoped you'd sleep with him.

[ Scoffs ]

Well, I didn't.

You need a job, Maggie.

There's a whole world

of commerce out there...

that has nothing to do with sex.

Where people actually make money

without seducing anyone.

Obviously, or you'd starve.

You're not gonna look

like this forever, you know.

Eventually you'll be older...

and then all the men who foot your bill now

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