Igor Page #2

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SCAMPER:
Dang it!

Still here.

If I had my shot,

I could be one of the

greatest Evil Scientists

Malaria has ever seen.

They'd all cheer

my name

just like they

do for the great

Dr. Schadenfreude!

(ORGAN PLAYING OMINOUS TUNE)

(UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)

ANNOUNCER:
And now your

master of disaster,

the chief of grief,

a man who needs

no introduction,

but who will brutally

torture me if he

doesn't get one,

Dr. Schadenfreude!

Thank you, thank you.

You're too klnd!

And I'm not.

But I want to welcome you

all to my annual pre- Evil

Science Fair party.

My girlfriend Jaclyn.

(CHUCKLING)

You know, she

may seem like

a shallow,

conniving wretch...

That's all I got.

That pretty much

sums her up.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

A toast to the

undefeated winner of

and the greatest Evil

Genius in the world.

(FANFARE)

(SPITS)

Bow for the King!

(BAND PLAYING LIVELY MARCH)

"The greatest Evil

Genius in the world."

I rememberwhen people

used to call me that.

Back when the clouds

destroyed our peaceful

land of farmers,

and my plan to blackmail

the world saved us all

Yes, as you ve

told us all over

and over and over.

Yeah, well,

here's more.

Did you know that years

ago, Schoddy's family

name was Poekelmacher?

His family were

pickle-makers!

(ALL LAUGHING)

So, what's your Evil

Invention this year,

Doctor, kosher or dill?

(CROWD LAUGHING)

I want to shove

a pickle right where

the sun don't shine

You mean

Malaria,

Master?

(EXCLAIMS)

No matter how many

Evil Science Fairs

I win,

I always have to bow

down to that idiot

I will never get

the respect he gets!

Respect? Respect

isn't gonna keep me

in baby-seal boots.

(SEAL WHIMPERING)

You just need to

keep on winning

Well, that is spoken

like a true worthless

leech,

who, by the way still has

not helped me steal this

year's winning invention.

You know,

maybe if you were

a real scientist,

you wouldn't need

me to help you

cheat every year.

(MACHINERY WHINING)

(SNICKERS)

Your whole

lab is fake,

just like you.

And maybe I should

throw you back in the

gutter where I found you!

You're one to talk,

Dr. Schadenfraude!

You don't have

the guts.

(GASPS)

(GROANING)

(EXCLAIMS)

(GASPS)

(LAUGHING)

Is Daddy still

mad at me?

No.

But you and

your friend

Heidi

still have a litt e

job to do.

Oh, we're trying.

Well, try a little

bit harder!

Because this year,

I won't stop at

just winning the

Evil Science Fair.

(JACLYN LAUGHING)

I'm gonna unleash

my winnlng invention

on the King's

smug little face,

and then he'll be

the one groveling

at my feet!

(YODELING)

Hi there!

Look, it's your

little girlfriend,

Heidi.

You take a cocoa break,

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