Idiocracy Page #2

the difficult challenge of gaining his trust.

Collins, could we skip

to the technicals, please?

Sure.

Let me just finish here.

You see, a pimp's love is very different

from that of a square.

Collins!

Fine. We'll move on.

It is a fascinating

world though.

Jesus, Collins.

Yeah, that's-

[ Clears Throat ]

Anyway, the experiment

in which these two subjects...

are to be placed

into a dry freeze...

for exactly one year

is set to begin tomorrow.

As you know,

this is highly classified.

However, if successful, we believe humans

can be stored indefinitely.

So this is kinda crazy, huh?

- What unit are you with?

- Oh, I ain't in the service.

Oh, private sector.

Okay.

- So, uh, what do you do?

- A little of this, a little of that.

Wow, that's great.

You know, I really envy people

that can make a living that way-

doing a little of this

and a little of that.

I, uh, had a neighbor, Glen.

He used to make chainsaw sculptures...

and then he'd sell 'em

at the flea market.

Yeah.

So, uh, you an artist

or somethin'?

- Uh, yeah.

- You do paintings or-

- Yeah, paintings.

- Okay, great.

- Mm-hmm.

- What do you paint mostly?

I don't know, just...

people and fruit and sh*t.

Wow. Well, must be great to be able

to make a living doing something you love.

[ Scoffs ]

Yeah. It's not all it's cracked up to be.

- [ Door Opens ]

- [ Collins ] Who wants to go first?

Me.

- [ Machinery Whirring ]

- What the f- Oh, hell, no. Uh-uh.

Hey, no. You probably don't want to do that

with the I.V. S attached and all.

- What's the matter?

- Man, Upgrayedd didn't tell me

they'd be putting me...

in no damn coffin

with tubes and sh*t!

Oh, no, don't worry about it.

It'll be safe. Trust me.

Who's Upgrayedd?

He's my boyfriend.

Man, how do you know

this sh*t's safe?

These guys know what they're doing.

Don't worry.

They've tested it on dogs

and everything.

What happens is, the drugs will kick in,

we drift off to sleep...

we wake up in a year,

you'll be paintin' again.

- It'll be fine.

- All right.

Upgrayedd. That's an interesting name.

Is he Dutch?

See, 'cause I knew this,

uh, Dutch exchange student.

His name was Untgrad.

Okay, my niggas,

we're almost set here.

Just go ahead

and lie down. Relax.

[ Equipment Beeping ]

See you in a year.

[ Narrator]

The Human Hibernation Rroject...

was one of the army's most

ambitious experiments...

and one of its most secretive.

But it was not immune

from human error.

Freeze!

[ Groans ]

Soon after Collins's arrest

and the massive scandal that followed...

the base was closed.

It hadn't even been a year,

and the entire project was simply forgotten.

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