I Used to Be Darker Page #2

she fell in

the weeping brook.

Her clothes spread wide

and, mermaid-like, awhile,

they bore her up;

which time she chanted

snatches of old tunes,

as one incapable of her

own distress,

or like a creature native

and indued unto that element;

but long it could not be,

'til that her garments,

heavy with their drink,

pulled the poor wretch

from her melodious lay

to muddy death.

How do you even

remember that?

When he turned around

and said he needed

someone with smaller hands,

that's when I fainted.

Right there in the mud and sh*t,

I didn't even notice.

Because you were

busy delivering a lamb

with your small hands.

Never done that before.

You were a pro.

You were

like a cowboy.

Midwife.

Not usually

so difficult.

It was a really

young ewe.

The hard work is getting them

matched up with their mothers,

so they'll be fed, really.

It was a hell of a thing

for city folks to witness.

Your mom cried the whole

night, remember?

Worried it would die.

I cried all night, too.

So... thanks be

to you two.

Taryn, you know

any good Irish toasts?

Northern Irish.

Don't get it

twisted, Dad.

Here's to those

that wish us well,

all the rest can

go to hell.

Amen.

What do you say, Dad?

Shall we grab another bottle

from the cellar?

Okay, Minnow.

You sound like

a bunch of pirates.

F*** you.

It's funny, whenever

we talk about that trip,

nobody ever mentions

the fight

Bill and Kim got into.

Was I around for that?

My dad stopped speaking

for two days,

you didn't notice?

Isn't he

just like that?

My mom said something

at Giant's Causeway

and he

disappeared for two hours.

That's why she was

crying all night,

not because

of the lamb.

Because my mom

was being a c*nt?

Damn, "c*nt"

is such a vulgar word.

My God.

Ah, yes,

junior prom.

I have to put this on

right now.

I wore that the year

Don Dills took me

to junior prom.

Don Dills.

Did I ever tell you

about Don Dills?

No.

Yeah, well, Don Dills

was four years older than me

because my boyfriend had

broke up with me

the day before,

so... yeah,

I drank two-six

of vodka to my face

and then woke up

the next morning

with a tattoo

of a devil on my ass.

What?

Yeah.

Jesus...

It wasn't real.

I'm so fat.

No, you aren't.

Pinch... a cow.

Hold it.

I can't get it.

Come on.

There.

All right.

Dance with me.

Turn it all

the way up.

As analog as it gets.

As analog as it gets.

- Pretty f***ing cool.

Hello, Jack.

Voila, Papa.

Nice monkey suit.

Nice monkey face.

Is this your girlfriend?

Yep.

Jack, meet Taryn.

Our representative from

Northern Ireland.

Nice gown.

Abby looked a lot nerdier

when she wore that dress.

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