I Love You Beth Cooper Page #2

l think you mean ''per,s, uade.''

not ''convince.

ls there a problem here?

No. ma'am.

My hand.

it just slipped.

You know l can't allow you

to kill him on school property?

Yes. ma'am.

Baby. Not nice.

-You okay?

-Great. yeah.

Okay. You know. on the bright side.

Beth Cooper talked to you.

-Whoo!

-Let's go!

School's out! We did it!

We did it! Party!

Ooh. That can't be good.

Losers!

All right.

keep in touch.

So. Iook. l'm not gay.

you know. so.... Yeah.

Okay. yeah.

No. l mean. it's cool

if you are. too. really.

Really. l'm not.

No soy homo.

All right.

That's awesome.

What makes you

think l'm gay?

l don't know-- Everybody

thinks you're gay. Rich.

Well. they don't know me.

You know me.

What makes you

think l'm gay?

Okay. l got an idea.

l'm Robin Hood.

You're Friar Tuck.

We get your dad's camcorder and

we do a shot-for-shot re-creation...

...of their climactic

sword fight...

...using our boners. Ha.

Nothing in particular.

l guess.

Well. l mean. is it

because of Drama Club?

Because. you know. a lot of

professional actors aren't gay.

More than half.

Rich. it's just that all through

high school and even before...

...you never really

had a girlfriend.

-Neither did you.

-l tried.

Oh. ha. ha. ha. Patty Keck?

-Her. yes.

-Your secret shame.

My point is...l had one.

Just so you know. making out

with a girl like that...

l'm not sure that's not gay.

What is this? Give me it.

Let go of it. l wanna see.

-No.

-Wow.

Whatever.

-That's awesome. iPod.

-lt's silly.

No. that's really nice.

That's great.

Yeah. my mom and dad

gave it....

Dude. you know what

l got for graduation?

-No.

-A bill.

Yeah. my dad says l owe

him 233.850 bucks.

A quarter of a million dollars?

And then they expect you

to buy your own shoes.

Yeah. Well. no. that includes 50 grand

for ''wear and tear'' on my mother.

She is pretty worn and torn.

you know.

Yeah.

Well. in any case. l'm sorry

your dad's such a dick.

And it was completely itemized.

very detailed.

Who knew he was

paying attention?

Hey-o.

-Check out the new kicks.

-Oh. cool.

Two paychecks. Very Gene Kelly.

circa 1 945. don't you think?

-Yeah. They're nice.

-Dude.

Don't be so nervous.

She's not gonna come.

l'm not nervous. l'm particular.

There's a difference.

You know what.

they can smell fear.

-No. they can't.

-l can smell it.

-Ooh.

-Ooh.

-Fear.

-Mm.

You know. puberty has done

nothing but screw me.

Dude. what are you doing?

l'm airing out my shirt.

-What?

-Come on.

l don't want a stinky shirt.

Dude. Ha. ha. ha.

Why are you laughing?

This is how you do this.

Hey. Mom. Dad.

Well. it looks like this

party's well underway.

Hola. Mrs. C.

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