I Do (But I Don't) Page #2

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My therapist calls it

obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Well, that's a good thing,

considering the wedding's in a month.

-A month?

-Yeah, we were working...

...with another planner,

but we just kept butting heads. So....

Here's our file from the last consultant.

It includes my likes and dislikes...

...down to what shoes

the flower girl wears.

Sorry to interrupt. Yogi Britney

aggravated her sciatica.

Oh, my God. I told you

no lotus position, Britney.

I gotta go. If you have any questions,

please ring Marc. Lauren, good luck.

Oh, God, Britney. Britney.

Marc, Marc. He's fine.

It's here, the problem.

Can we get ice or an ambulance?

Why is everyone not doing anything?!

-Marc, please!

-Yes.

Why do I hire you people?!

After spending the entire night

color-coding Darla's file...

...I fixed one messy situation

only to crash headfirst into another.

The Cibrianis, a nice Italian couple

from the South Side, were getting married.

And much to the bride's dismay,

the groom decided to make...

-...a grand entrance.

-Here I am!

Rule number three:

Nobody cares about the groom.

They've only come to see the bride.

-All right.

-So he's finally taking the plunge, huh?

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

-Hold on, honey.

-Everything's under control.

I knew something like this

was gonna happen.

I'll be down in no time.

-Just stay put, okay, baby.

-I'm a little nauseous, but it's okay.

-I love you.

-I love you too.

I'm not hurt. I'm not hurt. It's okay.

-I should have listened to my mother.

-Don't worry.

You'll be fine, honey.

How fast can you get

a firetruck to St. Alfred's?

-I'm okay. I'm fine.

-Just hang on.

I promise we'll get you down.

You're almost there.

It's okay, okay? Just try to relax.

-That's easy for you to say.

-Where you going on your honeymoon?

-Tahiti.

-Okay, I want you to close your eyes...

...and pretend that you're

already there, okay?

Picture the white-sand beaches,

the crystal-clear water...

-...that mai tai in your hand.

-I don't like fruity drinks.

Fine, it's a beer. And don't forget

to put on some sunscreen.

The sun's really hot. You're doing good.

Keep relaxing.

Let me guess.

The groom fell head over heels.

-What is he doing?

-Applying sunscreen.

I have him visualizing his honeymoon

to stay calm.

Where exactly does he think

that he is?

-Tahiti.

-Tahiti? That's nice.

-You ever been there?

-No, but it's on my list.

-Your list?

-Of places I wanna travel to.

-I didn't realize people made lists for that.

-I have a list for everything.

-It helps me keep things under control.

-Now, where's the fun in that?

Okay. That's okay.

-I'm about to die.

-I'm not gonna let that happen.

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