I Am Sam Page #3

SAM:

Her mother? Her mother said "This isn't

my life. I'm outta here when she comes.

It didn't mean anything, Sam. It was

just one night. The two of you. That's

all I need..." Annie, what if she's

sick?

EXT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

ANNIE has her door open a crack. Annie feels the baby's

forehead. Lucy stares up at her, quiet now, fascinated.

ANNIE:

She's overheated and not eating enough.

How often are you feeding her?

SAM:

A lot, Gerber, Carnation, Gerber.

ANNIE:

What's a lot?

SAM:

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Three

squares hot.

ANNIE:

Babies need food every two hours, Sam.

SAM:

Oh. I'm sorry Lucy Diamond.

ANNIE:

What time does the little diamond wake

up?

SAM:

She never really goes to sleep.

ANNIE:

Okaaaay. Well, let's assume she's up at

six. Keep your TV on Nickelodeon. I

want you to feed her first while

"Bewitched" is on. Then again, when

"Hogan's Heroes" starts. After that,

well until "Father Knows Best..."

CUT:

INT. SAM'S APARTMENT - EVENING

We are watching "Hogan's Heroes". We hear SHULTZ'S INFAMOUS

RESPONSE:
"I know nothing, absolutely nothing!" Sam feeds a

content Lucy.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. SAM'S APARTMENT - LATER

"Father Knows Best" on TV. Lucy blissfully falls asleep in

Sam's arms. Euphoric, he tiptoes to the cradle and places

her ever so gently, when suddenly, the FRONT DOOR FLIES OPEN.

Sam's BEST FRIENDS DESCEND inside: IFTY, a Pakistani

gentlemen with a gentle face and a wide smile, carrying a

large stuffed giraffe with a bow on it. BRAD, who sees

himself as a real ladies man, in tight jeans and a Farrah

Fawcett T-shirt; and ROBERT, highly paranoid, thinks the

world's out to get him. Lucy WAILS. Sam RUNS to the CRIB.

SAM:

What are you doing here now?! Her first

sound sleep, not a sound, not a sound.

BRAD:

Eight years every Thursday Video Night

and you forgot?!

SAM:

Oh my god, Video Night. First Thursday

of the month. Video night at Sam's

house. I'm sorry, I forgot.

IFTY:

Becca's gone. "Gone with the Wind" is a

very sad movie.

ROBERT:

Oh here we go...Everything changes now.

Soon you'll forget about Wednesday night

Denny's and Friday night Karaoke. And I

got hit by a car today.

SAM:

You did?

ROBERT:

It's probably that guy from the V.A.

BRAD:

What guy?

ROBERT:

(closing window)

I can't discuss it. And now this.

Ifty makes ORIGAMI BIRDS out of newspapers. Lucy's rapt.

SAM:

She looks smart, doesn't she?

IFTY:

Of course, look. She's already reading

the newspaper. I have five smart

sisters in Pakistan. I am only brother.

"Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" was a

wonderful movie I forgot to bring last

week for Video Night...

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