I.Q.

First, you should find out what

is the essential nature of the universe.

Is the universe an inherently

irrational place, random and chaotic?

Chipmunk, your spoon.

Your spoon, it's on the floor.

- Are you ready to order?

- Yes, the usual, please.

No, I'll have a cup of coffee

and a corn muffin, please.

Darling, that is your usual.

- Well, I'll have that, then, thank you.

- OK.

- Aha!

- What?

It loses 11,000 molecules

per square centimetre, per second.

- What does?

- The comet.

Now, which one of these

do you like best?

- Is this a personality test?

- It's a sort of surprise.

- They're all the same.

- No, look...

That's aquamarine,

that's blue-green and that's algae.

At the atomic level,

there's no such thing as colour.

Though they did do that study

in Belgium, or was it Denmark...

- Babbling.

- Babbling!

The point was... What was the point?

Since protons are so much smaller

than light waves...

Algae, thank you.

Since protons are smaller

than light waves,

how could they ever see it to begin with?

Oh, James!

Or is there a fundamental order

underlying all things?

Hey, Captain Marvel. Shazam!

Thanks. I was just reading

about Boyd's Comet.

- Boyd's what?

- Comet, like in the sky.

It's gonna be here soon.

We'll be able to see it.

Know why a comet's tail

always points away from the sun?

- Wanna know?

- No.

It's not a tail at all.

It's bits of gas that the sun lights up.

We earthlings

will keep that in mind.

Kinda like a 500-mile-long Jersey torch.

Wow!

It must be true!

The fact remains that certain events

are strictly accidental.

What fact?

Oh, my! Look at the time.

No problem.

It's because it's spring. Everything

goes through upheaval in the spring.

Come on, you little b*tch!

- Sounds like business.

- MG TF Roadster.

- Austin Healey.

- Cadillac Coupe.

- Buck.

- You're on.

- Intake valve.

- Distributor cap.

Busted muffler.

Are we all victims

of some comic cosmic accident,

or is there a grand design?

Oh, what luck!

- TC Roadster.

- That's a TF.

Looks like a couple of college swells.

You handle them, Ed.

Hi. What seems to be the problem?

Do you deal with British automobiles?

I don't want anyone just poking around

with a sharp stick.

All right if I look under the bonnet?

Well, at least he called it a bonnet.

So, that's the engine, huh?

I think we ought to go somewhere else.

- Intake valve, I'm telling you.

- Busted muffler.

That's your problem.

- You got no spark.

- What?

- You have no spark.

- Yes, I heard him.

But what does it mean?

Is it the generator, the coil?

It's hard to say. You have a Lucas type

four generator on a 12-volt system.

The British would rather

glue wood onto a dashboard

than get the electrical system right.

Fascinating.

But what is wrong with the car?

My guess is that your stroke is too short

and you're getting premature ignition.

- Does it ever feel that way?

- Like what?

Like the stroke is too short

and you're getting premature ignition.

I'm sure I don't know what you mean.

Could you fix it temporarily?

We're behind schedule.

I'll check with my boss. Don't go away.

- He seems nice enough.

- He's a troglodyte!

- Intake valve?

- Busted muffler?

- I'm gonna marry her.

- Who, the dame? That was fast.

- The car?

- Distributor cap.

I looked at her, she looked at me and...

It happened. You could feel it.

- Like death, but in a good way.

- He's screwy.

Pop! Pop, pop, pop! It was electric!

And then... Then I kissed her.

- You kissed a customer? When?

- In the future.

It was weird, like time and space

got mixed up. Like a Martian mind-meld.

- He's crackin' up.

- Stay away from the magazines.

No, you don't understand... The past,

present and future all went together.

I had kids with her, I could see the kids!

Two boys... No, three boys...

Excuse me! How long will all this take?

Well, that's up to you.

- It is?

- The car, you nut.

- The car... A few days.

- That long?

I'm gonna have to give it

my full attention.

Well, I'd better call a phone.

Can I use your cab?

There's a cab in the office.

But the uncertainty principle postulates

a universe of chaos, where

everything happens merely by chance.

Thank you.

- Well?

- We'll take care of it.

Hello, I need a taxi...

Catherine Boyd, B-O-Y-D.

What? Oh... What's the address here?

- 130 Broad.

- 130 Broad.

First stop is the Silas Paine Institute,

then 112 Mercer.

- Your address?

- 112 Mercer.

Two minutes! Thank you. Bye.

Well... It was Belgium.

- It was? What was?

- A study.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- I don't want you to worry...

- James! The taxi's coming.

- Well done, honey...

- Belgium.

- Two days, three at the most?

- We'll call you.

I, for one, will never believe

that God plays dice

with the universe.

- We're wasting time! Serve already!

- That's ridiculous!

How can you waste something

that doesn't exist?

Time doesn't exist? Since when?

I wouldn't know. If time doesn't exist,

then there is no "when".

You hear, Liebknecht?

Another crazy theory.

Then tell me the correct time, now.

You see, you can't.

Because as you're telling me,

the future has become the past,

therefore there is no present,

therefore time doesn't exist!

Perhaps.

Oops!

Now your racket doesn't exist.

- Oh.

- Yes?

- You're Albert Einstein.

- Thank you.

- Wow! May I say what a great fan I am?

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