i-Lived Page #3

You're the kinda guy who thinks

he knows what a woman wants.

- Do you like to take charge of a woman?

- No! It...

Wait a second,

is this a trick question?

Tricky question.

- Right. Okay.

- Um...

May I offer you ladies

a beverage this evening?

You're cute. I don't know.

What do you think?

- Come on.

- Mm-mmm, no.

All right.

Pull up a chair.

She has terrible taste in men.

I just want to say... Shh.

Good night, Josh.

Good night.

You are getting sleepy,

very sleepy.

All other noise

has been drowned out.

My stress is completely gone.

I'm about to fall asleep.

White Noise is the name of the app,

and it comes with a video option.

That's why I'm gonna give it

three out of five stars.

And now, I'd like to thank

all of you...

who've been liking me

on all the social networks,

and for all of you

new subscribers.

We're almost 300 strong.

That is awesome!

Dad, are you proud of me yet?

I'm doin' everything I can

out here in Hollywood.

I'm tryin' as hard as I can.

All right.

That's enough, Michael Caine.

And this brings me back

to the app...

that I reviewed

just several days ago.

I-Lived.

And I may have been

just a little bit too harsh...

in my first evaluation

because...

it's a lot more clever

than I initially thought, see?

It used the GPS on my phone to actually

track the bar that I was in...

to connect me with the one cute

girl that I had my eye on.

Not that the app

had anything to do...

with actually knowing

who that person was,

but it still gave me the courage

to step to that person.

Ja. Exactly.

So, here is a picture

of my cheating ex-girlfriend.

And here is a picture

of the girl...

that the app miraculously

got me talking to.

It's like one

is a Victoria's Secret model,

and the other one's a b*tch.

So, that's why

I feel like this app...

deserves a little bit more

in-depth analysis,

or what I like to call

a J-TECH double take.

D-D-Double take. Double take.

The first thing I did

was click on the user reviews...

to see what others are saying

about the app,

and it linked back

to the Web site,

where I found a bunch

of actual testimonials.

This app has totally

changed my life.

When I started using it,

about, um, six months ago,

I was afraid of everything.

I was afraid of heights,

I was afraid of traveling,

and I just walked

over the Golden Gate Bridge.

Um, I've lived here

my whole life,

and I'm terrified of heights,

and I did it.

It changed me. I mean, it

totally changed my life.

All right.

Then there's this guy.

Whoo!

I'd always wanted to be a pilot,

so I got on I-Lived.

And now here I am,

landing a B-17!

And it's all because of I-Lived.

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