How to Murder Your Wife

Synopsis: Stanley Ford leads an idyllic bachelor life. He is a nationally syndicated cartoonist whose Bash Brannigan series provides him with a luxury townhouse and a full-time valet, Charles. When he wakes up the morning after the night before - he had attended a friend's stag party - he finds that he is married to the very beautiful woman who popped out of the cake - and who doesn't speak a word of English. Despite his initial protestations, he comes to like married life and even changes his cartoon character from a super spy to a somewhat harried husband. When after several months he decides to kill off Bash's wife in the cartoon, his wife misinterprets his intentions and disappears. Which leads the police to charge him with murder.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Richard Quine
Production: MGM Home Entertainment
  Nominated for 1 BAFTA Film Award. Another 1 win & 1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
118 min

Ba-room! Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle, tinkle.

What's the matter, Charles? Don't like it?

Oh, I love it, sir!

But I was thinking of Mr Lampson.

Poor, poor Mr Lampson.

Stanley, can you stop for just a minute?

I'm speaking to you now as your friend!

You're a grown man, and grown men

cannot go around - repeat - cannot go around

spreading terror on the New York streets

at noon accompanied...

Will you stop just a minute, Stan.

By naked women!

She wasn't naked.

She had a diamond in her navel.

And those demented butlers

and criminals with knives!

You cannot continue comporting yourself

like an escaped lunatic!

Bash Brannigan is syndicated

in 463 newspapers. You know why?

Sure, I know.

Because it's hard-core pornography

softened slightly, ever so slightly,

by excessive violence and sadism!

Bash Brannigan is enjoyed by millions

because it's authentic.

I'd never ask Bash to do anything

I hadn't done myself.


Stan? Stan? Uh...

I wanna remind you, lad,

that you're now 37 years old.

And, quite frankly,

it's time that you settled down.

Edna and I were discussing it last night

and Edna feels -

I agree -there's something almost immoral

about a man of your age who isn't married,

doesn't go to an office,

sits around drawing a comic strip

that appeals only to morons, Stanley!

Stanley? Stanley, are you listening?

- H-hey, Stan?

- Hmm?

I happened to mention to the kids that I was

gonna be meeting with you this afternoon,

and, well, we kind of have a little family

argument there that we want you to settle.

The point is that Hal and Tommy both think

that the microfilm is hidden

in the diamond in the girl's navel.

Of course, I told them they were crazy.

In fact, I went out on a limb.

I told them that I was your lawyer

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George Axelrod

George Axelrod (June 9, 1922 – June 21, 2003) was an American screenwriter, producer, playwright and film director, best known for his play, The Seven Year Itch (1952), which was adapted into a movie of the same name starring Marilyn Monroe. He was nominated for an Academy Award for his 1961 adaptation of Truman Capote's Breakfast at Tiffany's and also adapted Richard Condon's The Manchurian Candidate (1962). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"How to Murder Your Wife" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 26 Jan. 2020. <>.

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