How to Make Love Like an Englishman Page #3

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We thought I was pregnant!

- Well, I am.

- What?

- What?

I- I wanted to tell

you earlier, but-

Pregnant, with a- with a baby?

Yeah. I wanted to

tell you another way,

but this is so weird,

I just-

No, this is the perfect way.

This is really the perfect way,

I think- yeah, that's-

that's great. Really great.

Well, that

was so hearftelt.

Livvy! Livvy, thank

you so much for supper.

Remind me never

to do this again.

I'm just gonna go

outside and get some fresh air.

- What do you mean?

- Excuse me. Air.

Yeah. Run.

- Richard!

- Yeah.

- Richard!

- Yeah! I'm here.

Look, I know I just dropped

a bomb on you back there.

So, right here, right now,

I'm giving you the out.

I just want

some air, that's all.

You just need

some time to think.

It's-

it's fine. I get it.

So, I'm moving to L.A.

Oh.

I got a really cool job

at a venture capital firm.

You're full

of surprises today.

You'll love L.A. It'll be

like Cambridge-ish, but with

a lot of palm trees and like,

chicks with tans and stuff.

Oh, honey, you're all clammy.

Really, I just need

some air, that's all really.

Okay.

Yeah, okay. I'll be back in

there, go ahead. You go.

- Richard?

- Yeah?

You're gonna be a great father.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Did you have a good

dinner then, sir?

(Vomits)

(Knock on door)

(Gordon) Oh, where the

buggering hell have you been?

I said 6:
00.

Sorry about that, Dad.

Didn't realize your grumbling

ran on such a tight schedule.

Bloody miserable

out there as usual.

Agh, agh, agh, don't touch that!

Oh, good god,

Dad, I'm not five-years-old.

(Joan) Hi, Richard, dear.

Hello, Joan.

How's everything?

Oh, just terrific.

Thanks for asking.

You still boffing

the Yank totty, are you?

Yes, she's

a great girl.

Bright, beautiful, ambitious.

You mean, a

horrible little upstart,

determined to 'go places'.

So tell me, when are you

going to start going places?

Oh, good god, please don't

start with this again, Dad!

(Gordon) I mean, come on, when

I was your age, I mean I'd been

the head of the department

for seven years!

Yeah, and it made

you so happy, didn't it, Dad?

All right, what's

the grievance today?

Split infinitive on the news?

Too many women with jobs?

It's his waterworks.

He's got to go back into

hospital next week.

Stop talking

about my cock, woman!

Tell me

something, Dad.

Why did you and Mum get married?

Now, what kind of an

inane question is that

for a Thursday evening?

For a man who revels

in reckless promiscuity,

your four marriages do

beg some questions.

Your mother

fed me regularly.

She pleasured me

half-decently now and then.

What more could a man want?

Oh, I don't know, friendship?

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