How to Be a Serial Killer Page #3

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at the video store.

Well, your ice cream's

all melted.

It's all right.

It's still good.

Did you cut

yourself shaving?

No, I don't think so.

That's weird.

Well, you caught me red-handed.

I had a strawberry

sundae at lunch.

Mr. Health Conscious

had a sundae for lunch?

Um, well, yeah, I mean,

I've just been

down a little bit,

and I thought maybe some

ice cream might cheer me up.

Are you feeling down?

A little.

Did something happen today?

No, it's just,

work's stressful.

You want to get

it off your chest?

No, it's no big deal.

Just petty stuff.

You listen to me

go on and on

about the politics

of the shelter.

I mean, I'm happy to listen

if you wanna talk about it.

Thank you.

I'm a pretty lucky guy

to have a girl like you.

And I'm a lucky girl.

Can you, um, hold that?

Mm hmm.

Try not to spill it.

I love Mike.

He's a great guy.

He's smart, he's caring,

he's emotionally intelligent.

And he's cute.

We've been together about

a year, and I think that's

really when people start

to show their true colors.

So the honeymoon is over,

but I'm really happy with him.

Emily Post found her fame

in writing a little book

entitled "Etiquette."

And it remains the authoritative

text on manners today.

Good manners

are very important.

They imply respect for

those in your presence,

and for the world in general.

There is a code of social

ethics and behavior out there,

and serial killing

is no different.

Hey, have you ever...

I've always been

curious, Bart.

But I won't do it.

Temptation surrounds

us in everything we do.

Immediate gratification

cannot be answered

to forsake principals.

Need to be strong

and make choices

that reflect our beliefs.

We gotta stick to our guns.

You said it.

We simply can't do

everything in life

that we'd like to, Bart.

I don't care how

annoying they are,

or how curious you might be,

children are off limits.

Stay away from the mentally

and physically handicapped.

That's cheating.

I've always loved animals

and never would do anything

to hurt our furry

little friends.

Sociopaths kill animals,

real serial killers kill people.

Never rob your victims.

You go down that road

it's tough to get off.

It starts off with a 20,

ends up with a C-note,

and then pretty soon

you're just a petty thief

who happens to kill on the side.

Don't rape.

Don't ever rape.

Rapists are the

scum of the earth.

Love women, respect women.

Find a way to earn their love.

There are over six billion

people in this world,

and it's no secret that

a lot of them deserve to die.

Just think - if I was in

Vienna right around

the turn of the century I might

have done away with Hitler.

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