How to Be a Serial Killer Page #2

Synopsis: A serial killer decides to teach the secrets of his satisfying career to a video store clerk.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Horror
Director(s): Luke Ricci
Production: Monterey Media
  2 wins.
 
IMDB:
5.6
R
Year:
2008
91 min
Website
265 Views


[whispers]

I've always wanted

to kill someone.

And you can.

What do you mean?

If you want to learn,

I can teach you to kill

as many people as you want.

I don't know.

No, I think you do know.

I come in here all the time,

and every time I see you...

I see a guy that's not

happy with his life.

- You can tell that?

- Uh huh.

And I see that there's

a version inside of you

that's just waitin'...

to break out.

You know exactly what I'm

talking about, don't you?

(customer)

What the f***, honey?

No, I'm not

doing this with you.

See, life comes down to a few

short moments when you have

to ask yourself...

am I living up

to my potential?

Am I in it...

to win it?

Sh*t for selection.

What's it gonna be?

Are you in it to win it?

I am in it to win it.

You got a lot to

learn before you can

put your hands on a weapon.

So what do you say?

You wanna go

get this a**hole?

Yeah.

[bell rings]

Let's take the back...

before he gets away.

Hey, dip sh*t.

Hey, you know what's

f***in' hilarious?

Is that you chose to act

like a f***in' a**hole

on your last day on earth.

[gunshot]

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

You all right?

You still with me?

Guys like this, they take

their lives for granted.

And the thing is,

is that we're all

just so f***in' fragile.

I'm a reminder to these people

that they need to appreciate

their life each and every day.

So you're kind of,

you're kind of doing,

doing people a favor.

You're goddamn right I am.

Looks like we got a live one.

[gunshot]

What do you do

with the body?

Depends.

Is shithead here

a regular customer?

Yeah?

I got a couple acres out in

the desert with a shack on it.

Your secret hideout?

Yeah, kind of.

Take him out there,

chop him up,

throw some dirt on him -

be on the safe side.

Grab the shell casings,

I'm gonna throw

f***-face in the trunk.

Welcome to your new life.

You follow my lead,

you'll be selling

the blood-soaked clothes

of your victims on eBay.

Listen, I got to run,

call the city,

have this car towed.

Don't touch anything.

Just go back inside.

Should, should I get

your phone number?

No need.

I know where to find you.

I want to make you

a superstar, pal.

So Mike's...

he's taken me on

as his apprentice.

I'm kind of nervous

'cause I'm not, like,

I'm not now nor have

I ever been a star student.

But, you know, they say,

they say you can accomplish,

like, anything if you put

your mind to it.

And.. I've never

really found anything

that I really wanted

to put my mind to.

Serial killing -

I think I could really,

really sink my teeth into that.

Apply myself.

[car horn honks]

- Hello.

- What took you so long?

There was a mad rush

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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