How to Be a Serial Killer

Synopsis: A serial killer decides to teach the secrets of his satisfying career to a video store clerk.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Horror
Director(s): Luke Ricci
Production: Monterey Media
  2 wins.
91 min

Whatever, just work your magic.

My computer's frozen.

No shit.

I'm gonna restart it.

It'll take, like, 30 seconds.

[phone rings]

God damn it, Jenny.




I told you they

don't have that.

The fucking 'tard

they got working here

can't do shit.



It'll take, like, five seconds.

I'm just gonna look

for something else.


Oh, hey.

You're lookin' for a--

are you lookin' for

another slasher film?

No, actually I was

wondering if you had,

"Along Came Polly"?

I, I don't--

I don't think we have

it in the system.

The computer's

all jammed, but--

Dude, I'm fucking with you.

I overheard that little

shit asking for it.

What a fucking dick.

I used to hate guys like that

when I worked in retail.

Yeah, right.

How about I get

the movies you want,

and I'll go to sleep?

What would

you do to him...

if you could do anything

you wanted to?

Anything and not get caught?


I can see those

gears turning.

If you could do

anything you wanted...

Think about it.

I can't even say.

Yeah, you can.

(customer on phone)

Every time we do this.

No, we're not

getting licorice.

Fuckin' black licorice.

I hate that shit anyway.

Nobody's gonna

hear you except me.

And I'm your ally.

If I could do anything

in the world to that guy...

I'd, uh...

I'd go to a hardware

store and, uh...

I'd get a sledgehammer.


And then smash his head

with the sledgehammer.


That's creative.

It's a little messy,

but it's creative.

I'm just jokin', you know?

Jokin' around.

I'd, um, I'd just, like,

get a gun and shoot him

in the neck.

Right in the neck.

Is that real?

Yeah, it's fuckin' real.

You can't kill someone

with a fake gun.

Unless you bash them

in the head with it.

You mean...

you've iced a guy?

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "How to Be a Serial Killer" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 15 Jan. 2021. <>.

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