Hotel Splendide Page #2

that thumb first.

Richard is missing from

the gramophone again.

I don't suppose you've seen it?

When you're done,

take this to room 106.

Here we go.

[BEEPING]

Oops.

Landed on a disease.

Diverticulitis.

Come on.

It's easy.

Three symptoms.

Diverticulitis...

Um... that's cramps,

constipation, rectal bleeding.

Wrong.

You're dead.

Does... does that

mean I can off to...

What a waste.

Go on.

Oh.

[INAUDIBLE]

[CLATTERING]

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

I don't know!

What I'm doing here.

God, I feel like an idiot.

You didn't send

the note, did you?

No.

You, um... owe me

an explanation.

For leaving.

You could have followed me.

How?

Morton knew where I would be.

Daddy?

Yeah.

We never...

That's not enough.

I mean, you left.

Start talking.

Ronnie.

What good would it do?

We couldn't have

gone on without you.

We didn't even have

a sous chef anymore.

I thought it would

all blow over.

You were both so young, and...

And?

And?

Mummy would have murdered me.

I'm sorry.

Don't be.

For once, Mummy was dead right.

Excuse me.

Where is he?

Spit it out!

Perhaps you can

tell me what we're

going to do about luncheon?

She breaks the

rules, simple as that.

Only room for one

cook in my kitchen.

And besides which, I

prefer it out here.

Ronald, come back inside.

We're not going to let

her get the better of us?

Um... luncheon is off.

I'm afraid Ronald is ill.

Nothing life threatening.

So, if you'll just bear with us,

we'll soon be back to normal.

In the meantime,

we will be making

alternative arrangements.

Cora?

Um... this is an

excellent opportunity

for a healthful fast.

Participants should make their

way to the treatment rooms

for complementary purgatives.

Oh, no.

To enhance the process.

NARRATOR:
Hunger is sharper

than a serpent's tooth, it is.

And a simple omelette

can be a dangerous thing

in the right hands.

Absurd, isn't he?

His behavior is inexcusable.

He has an excuse.

Goodness' sake.

Now, I have something

to show you.

Oh my god.

What is all this?

Mummy's dream.

She hooked up the

hotel sewage system

to this methane

converter, which provides

unlimited gas for the boiler.

It's a sealed system.

As long as the guests eat and...

You know... there's as much heat

as we'll ever head.

She died a few days

before it was finished.

Never saw it working.

It's too bad.

The first time we fired it

up was for her cremation.

You see, it was

her last request.

The best part of her...

Not the physical part,

but her essence...

Is in the hotel now.

She's joined with it forever.

Right.

That must be a great

comfort to you.

It is.

It really is.

You know, Kath, I had

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