Hot Shots! Page #2

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killed your father...

was Henry Pfaffenbach, my father.

I feel terrible.

Isn't this Henry Alva Pfaffenbach?

My mother was a Pfaffenbach.

Not... Doreen Pfaffenbach?

- From Minnesota?

- Yeah.

Then we're cousins. We used to

spend our summers in Eagle River.

Eagle River?

I hope you can forgive me for this.

If it helps, I didn't have seconds.

That's all right. It's not your fault.

Anyone could have made that mistake.

But him, he's the type that could

end up killing every man in this outfit.

Wait a minute. Why are you mad at me?

He's the one who ate your father.

Like father, like son.

You've already been tossed out once.

Hold it, hold it.

We can't fight among ourselves.

We're all on the same team here.

I want the two of you to shake hands.

There, now. Isn't that better?

- Yeah.

- Sure.

There. We're friends again.

Here. Have some of my lucky gum.

Look, Dead Meat. We fly together,

we sleep next to each other, but that's all.

Don't get too close.

Let me handle my own affairs.

He's so complex.

Every aerial photo and recon report

indicate a defensive arsenal

in the D, and perhaps -C, categories.

There's also some anti-aircraft squadrons.

They can send up an ack-ack umbrella

high enough to make any attack ineffective.

I don't have a clue

what you're talkin' about, Phil.

I have a shell the size of a fist in my head.

Pork Chop Hill.

The only way I can make this toup stay on

is by magnetising the upper left

quadrant of my skull.

You just go ahead and do what you do.

Do you have any soup?

Of course, sir. I'll have the mess

bring something right up.

I love soup. I mean, I think I love soup.

Son-of-a-bitchin' shell. It's either

soup or duck. Which one do you shoot?

Duck, sir.

- Are you all right, sir?

- Of course I'm all right.

Why? What have you heard?

Nothing, sir.

Send some soup up for the admiral,

on the double.

Let's go over this Slippery Weevil

one more time.

I wanna familiarise myself with it as much

as I possibly can. So, give it to me, Ben.

Every word. Every detail.

Dot every comma.

Those are some long legs.

I just had them lengthened.

Now they go all the way up.

Wow.

It's nice to see you again. I was really

impressed, the way you handled that stallion.

When I saw you dig your heels into his sides,

tighten the reins and break his spirit,

I never wanted to be a horse

so much in my life.

After I finish off this shrink,

we can take a quick canter in the meadow.

Lieutenant, I am the shrink.

- You're the psychiatrist?

- That's what the diploma says.

I've never been to a psychiatrist before.

You will be gentle?

I've been ordered to review your records.

You were discharged from the service

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