Hostel Page #2

you cannot believe it.

And they love anyone foreign,

especially American.

They hear your accent,

they f*** you.

So wait, this place

is near Bratislava?

Josh.

You won't find this hostel

in any guidebook.

Barcelona, so many Americans.

But Slovakia? No one there.

There is so much p*ssy, and because

of the war, there are no guys.

You go to this hostel,

you will have any girl you want.

They go crazy for any foreigner.

You just...

...take them.

F***, man.

Can't you keep your Viking ass

in your pants for, like, two seconds?

Hey, man, I shaved my ass

just for you.

-Okay, all right.

-My Viking balls too.

Okay, stop.

I'm sorry.

My daughter.

She miss her daddy,

and Daddy miss her.

Yeah, no problem, dude, it's cool.

-Saskia.

-Cute.

-She's adorable.

-She's a little cutie, yeah.

This is Svanhildur, my daughter.

-Very pretty.

-She's 6.

She's starting school this year.

Wait, you have a daughter?

Yeah, of course, my horse.

I was married for eight years.

Okay. All right.

-You are on vacation?

-Yeah, we're backpacking.

Our next stop is Bratislava.

-What?

-Slovakia.

You will like it.

Casino, girls.

You can pay to do anything.

Anything.

-How are the girls?

-Very beautiful.

They will love you.

Handsome American like you.

Handsome devil. He is handsome.

That's... That's awkward.

That's awkward.

That's awkward too.

-You need a fork there, chief?

-No, no, no.

I prefer to use my hands.

I believe...

...people have

lost their relationship with food.

They do not think:

"This is something who gave its life

so I would not go hungry. "

I like to have a connection

with something that died for me.

I appreciate it more.

Well, I'm vegetarian.

And I am a meat-eater.

It's human nature.

Well, I'm human,

and it's not in my nature.

Tell me, what is your nature?

Don't touch!

Don't f***ing touch me!

I'm sorry.

Excuse me.

F***ing freak.

Jesus.

Edward Saladhands

just groped Josh.

Dude, you finally hooked up.

That's awesome.

Yeah, that's f***ing hilarious.

Or we could visit some factories.

Should be cool.

In this area...

...we make plastic for Slovakia.

Is that so?

Look at this.

-Nice, eh?

-This is a f***ing hostel?

Holy sh*t.

You can have that, man.

I'm too scared.

Hey, hey. The party has arrived.

-You are saved from boredom.

-Let me guess.

You must be

the King of the Swing.

You made a reservation under

"King of the Swing?"

-Yeah, of course, my horse.

-I'm sorry.

-He doesn't get out of his cage much.

-I can see that.

Here are your keys.

You leave your passports

at the desk.

That was taken when I was like 1 3.

I was kind of husky.

Not anymore, though, you know?

Do you have any private rooms?

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