Horse Feathers Page #4

enough education. - I think so, too.

Wrong again! If there was a snake here

I'd apologize.

Where would the college be

without football?

Have we got a stadium? - Yes.

- And a college? - Yes.

Well, we can't support both.

Start tearing down the college.

But where will the students sleep?

- Same as always. In the classroom.

Professor, the Dean of Science

wants to know when he'll see you.

He said he's tired of

cooling his heels out here.

Tell him

I'm cooling a couple of heels in here.

Now, where were we? Oh yes.

How much am I paying you fellas?

- 5,000. But we haven't been paid.

In that case, I'll raise it to 8,000.

And a bonus, for you and your dog.

The Dean's furious. He's waxing wroth!

Is Wroth there, too?

Tell him to wax the Dean for a while.

Guess that's bad, eh?

- One more thing, Professor.

It's about your son.

I'm afraid he's paying

too little attention to his studies,

and too much to Connie Bailey.

I'll put a stop to that.

I'll call her up right now.

Either of you weasels got her number?

- No. - Good thing I have.

Get me Maine 4-9970

and reverse the charges.

You may go now. Drop this

in the mailbox on your way out.

Hello, I want to speak to Miss Bailey.

Is this Miss Bailey?

Why, of course I know your son.

Why, that's silly.

We're just very good friends.

Professor, I don't understand.

You don't? Come over to my office.

You're in bed? In that case,

I'll come to your office.

Where are your tongs?

Looks like a tong war.

No more ice until you pay the bill.

How much do we owe you?

- $2,000. - Just for ice?

I can get an Eskimo for $200

and make my own ice.

I tell you what:
You owe us 200.

We take 2,000 and call it square.

I'll consult my lawyer. If he tells me

to do it, I'll get a new lawyer.

Forget about the money. Go to college,

and get yourself a co-ed.

I gotta co-ed last week for $18,

a co-ed with two pairs of pants.

Since when has a co-ed two pairs

of pants? - Since I joined college.

Baravelli, you've got the brain

of a 4-year-old boy.

Now that you're a college boy,

here's your hat,

your pennant, your coat.

Report for football practice in the

morning. Now, sign this agreement.

There's nothing on this paper.

- We'll fill in something later.

Here, put your name on there.

Gee, I didn't know you could write.

Wait a minute, this isn't legal.

There's no seal on it.

Where's the seal?

- Where's the seal?

And thus we see that the function

of the respiratory system

is to transmit oxygen

into the bloodstream,

which is called osmosis...

Have they started

sawing a woman in half yet?

Mr President, what a pleasure!

What brings you here?

A bicycle, but I left it in the hall.

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