Horse Feathers

Synopsis: Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff has just been installed as the new president of Huxley College. His cavalier attitude toward education is not reserved for his son Frank, who is seeing the college widow, Connie Bailey. Frank influences Wagstaff to recruit two football players who hang out in a speakeasy, in order to beat rival school Darwin. Unfortunately, Wagstaff mistakenly hires the misfits Baravelli and Pinky. Finding out that Darwin has beaten him to the "real" players, Wagstaff enlists Baravelli and Pinky to kidnap them, which leads to an anarchic football finale.
Director(s): Norman Z. McLeod
Production: MCA Universal Home Video
  2 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
68 min

In the speakeasy...

- In a speakeasy?

Isn't that against the law, selling

football players in a speakeasy?

Two of the best players in the country

hang out there.

You suggest that I go there,

without even giving me the address?

go there, it isn't ethical.

It's not right for a college to buy

football players. - It isn't, eh?

Well, come on and we'll have a nip.

Better still, you wait here.

Anything further, Father? - "Anything

further, Father?" That can't be right.

Isn't it "Anything Father, further?"

The idea! I married

your mother because I wanted children.

Imagine my disappointment with you!

"And I kept yelling since I first

commenced it:
I'm against it!"

That's my proposition. How about it?

It's OK with us, Mr. Jennings, but

how are you gonna fix it?

- Don't worry, it's fixed already.

You'll be entered as Darwin students

to play in the game against Huxley.

Yeah, but how about the dough?

- Here's a little to start with.

You get the balance after the game.

With you boys playing for Darwin,

Huxley can't win. - You said it!

- Here's to dear old Darwin.

Alright boys, let's go.


- So long.



Yes, lady, this is Baravelli,

the ice man. What do you want?

One quart of scotch,

one quart of rye.

Hold on, I see if I got 'em.

One quart of scotch.

One quart of rye.

OK, lady, I send 'em right over.

Hey, Baravelli!

What do ya want?

- Watch the door for a few minutes.

And don't let anyone in

without the password.

What is it?

- Swordfish is the password, right?

OK, I got it.

- Well, what is it? - Password.

Swordfish! Swordfish.

- Alright, swordfish!

Who are you? - I'm fine. Who are you?

- I'm fine, too. You need a password.

Well, what is the password?

- Oh no, you gotta tell me.

I tell what I do,

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Bert Kalmar

Bert Kalmar (February 10, 1884 – September 18, 1947) was an American lyricist, who was inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame in 1970. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Horse Feathers" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 2 Mar. 2021. <>.

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