Horse Feathers Page #3

Hey, here comes my partner.

Hey, Pinky,

do you know the password?

Get up. That's no way to go into

a speakeasy. That's how you come out.

Hey, what'll you have?

He'll take a scotch.

- Right.

I got it! Swordfish.

- Go outside and see if it works.

Cut the cards.

Now, to business. I'm looking for two

football players who hang around here.

We hang around here...

- That's all I wanna know.

Prof. Wagstaff from Huxley College.

- That means nothing to me.

Means nothing to me, either.

I'll try it over again.

I'm Prof. Huxley

from Wagstaff College.

You didn't stay at the other one long.

Why don't you pull yourself to pieces?

- I'll talk it over with my partner.

In case I never see you again,

what would you want to play football?

First we want a football.

- I don't know if we've got one.

If we had, would you be interested?

No rush, you can sleep on it.

I no think I can sleep on a football.

- Who's gonna settle for these drinks?

You're stuck. - Can you cash a check

for $15.22? - Sure.

Five, ten, fifteen and twenty-two.

As soon as I get the check,

I'll send it to ya. Swordfish!

Laura!

- Good morning, Mr. Wagstaff.

Am I too early? - No, shall I tell

Miss Bailey you're here? - No, I will.

Give me the tray.

Would you open the door?

Your breakfast, Madam. Anything else?

Yes, put some cream in my coffee,

and tell me where you've been.

Busy arguing with Dad about you.

How many? - Two.

Well, what about me?

- Dad wants me to give you up.

You're interfering with my studies.

He must think I'm terrible.

- I think you're wonderful. Beautiful.

Are you making love to me?

- Why not?

"Everyone says I love you, the cop

on the corner and the burglar, too,

the preacher in the pulpit and the man

in the pew, says I love you.

Everyone, no matter who,

the folks over 80 and the kid of 2,

the captain and the sailor and the

rest of the crew, says I love you.

There are only 8 little letters

in this phrase,

you will find,

but they mean a lot more

than all the other words combined.

Everywhere the whole world through,

the king and the peasant, too,

The tiger in the jungle and the monk

in the zoo, says I love you."

Get that crate out of here!

You think this is a picnic?

Blocking traffic, holding up cars...

Who do you think you are?

You know what I'm going to do to you?

You're a wise guy, ain't you?

Let go of that club!

You see that badge?

And I say to you, gentlemen,

that this college is a failure.

Trouble is we're neglecting football

for education. - You are right.

No, I'm wrong.

I was just testing you.

Now I know

I'm dealing with a couple of snakes.

There's too much football, and not

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