Horse Feathers Page #2

In the speakeasy...

- In a speakeasy?

Isn't that against the law, selling

football players in a speakeasy?

Two of the best players in the country

hang out there.

You suggest that I go there,

without even giving me the address?

go there, it isn't ethical.

It's not right for a college to buy

football players. - It isn't, eh?

Well, come on and we'll have a nip.

Better still, you wait here.

Anything further, Father? - "Anything

further, Father?" That can't be right.

Isn't it "Anything Father, further?"

The idea! I married

your mother because I wanted children.

Imagine my disappointment with you!

"And I kept yelling since I first

commenced it:
I'm against it!"

That's my proposition. How about it?

It's OK with us, Mr. Jennings, but

how are you gonna fix it?

- Don't worry, it's fixed already.

You'll be entered as Darwin students

to play in the game against Huxley.

Yeah, but how about the dough?

- Here's a little to start with.

You get the balance after the game.

With you boys playing for Darwin,

Huxley can't win. - You said it!

- Here's to dear old Darwin.

Alright boys, let's go.

Bye.

- So long.

Baravelli!

Hello?

Yes, lady, this is Baravelli,

the ice man. What do you want?

One quart of scotch,

one quart of rye.

Hold on, I see if I got 'em.

One quart of scotch.

One quart of rye.

OK, lady, I send 'em right over.

Hey, Baravelli!

What do ya want?

- Watch the door for a few minutes.

And don't let anyone in

without the password.

What is it?

- Swordfish is the password, right?

OK, I got it.

- Well, what is it? - Password.

Swordfish! Swordfish.

- Alright, swordfish!

Who are you? - I'm fine. Who are you?

- I'm fine, too. You need a password.

Well, what is the password?

- Oh no, you gotta tell me.

I tell what I do,

I give you three guesses.

It's the name of a fish.

- Is it Mary?

That's no fish!

- She isn't? She drinks like one.

Let me see. Is it sturgeon?

You crazy! A sturgeon, he's a doctor,

cuts you open when you sick.

You got one more chance.

- I got it. Haddock.

Funny, I gotta haddock too. - What do

you take? - Sometimes calomel...

I'd walk a mile for a calomel.

- You mean chocolate calomel. Me too.

But you no guess it.

Hey, you no understand English?

You only get in if you say swordfish.

Now, I give you one more guess.

- Swordfish... swordfish...

I think I got it. Is it swordfish?

- Ha! That's it! You guess it!

Pretty good, eh?

- Fine, you guess it...

What do you want? - To come in.

- Password? - You don't fool me!

Swordfish. - No, I got tired of that.

I changed it.

What's the password now?

- I forgot it. I better come outside.

Buddy, can you help me out?

I'd like to get a cup of coffee.

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