Homo Erectus Page #2

Synopsis: A philosophical caveman (Rifkin) yearns for more out of life than sticks, stones and raw meat.
Genre: Action, Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Adam Rifkin
Production: National Lampoon Inc.
 
IMDB:
3.5
Rotten Tomatoes:
17%
R
Year:
2007
88 min
137 Views


to make the most of what we have our disposal.

Don't you think?

What kind of panty ass fagget talk is that?

Listen, because I've been around

longer than anyone.

You have questions and see can't through.

Educate me Old Fool, you're the only one

in the tribe that has the knowledge I crave.

All the riddles of our existence

can be deciphered with this.

What is it?

Turd.

My turd.

It's a big turd.

Great biggy.

My biggest disappointment was coming to the conclusion

that Old Fool wasn't actually wise at all.

Complete imbecile.

For once, the others were right.

My brother Thudnik, true to form,

grow up to be the perfect specimen of masculinity.

His strength, agility, athleticism

and natural leadership skills,

garanteed him the role of tribe leader

once my father crossed over into the afterlife.

And like my father,

he was loved by the ladies.

As much as I hated to admit it, I guess I was crippled

with jealousy over how effortless it all came to him.

But I was gonna use that envy as fuel

and evolve our species

beyond sticks and stones.

How I's gonno do it, you may ask.

I'd become an inventor.

Hey, look everybody,

I just invented pants.

Ishbo, are you OK?

One thing that definitely hadn't change

was the way I felt about Fardart.

Ishbo!

I've died and gone to heaven.

Come on, Thudnik.

Unfortunately, neither had her feelings for my brother.

I mean he's clubbed every girl

on the tribe, but me.

I'm not ugly.

Am I undesirable?

Smoke signals again.

Those Binadraks are up to something.

Ishbo, you've been listening to me?

I'm talking about something very important.

Of course, my brother is a profound idiot.

You're the hottest girl on the tribe.

I've told you million times.

Really?

- Really.

Okey, I guess it's not about me.

What's happening with you, Ish?

What is happening in your love life?

- Who do you have your eye on?

- Nobody.

Come on, you can tell your best friend.

- No, seriously, there is nobody.

I have no time for such folderol, OK?

I'm too busy inventing things.

Really Ishbo, that's absurd.

Back to more important matters,

I have a secret.

Somebody likes you.

- Really? Who?

- Somebody very close to you, right now.

But, if I tell you you can't say anything.

Your cousin, Urka.

See the way that she looks

to you during campfire stories?

What do you think?

- Not my type.

Really?

- Yeah.

God, I tell you guys would've made a really cute couple.

- I don't think so.

I don't know, Ish.

There's gotta be somebody.

No, don't bother. Just forget about it.

I can't get girls, it's worthless, OK?

Listen, I don't even know how to club.

What?

You've never clubbed a girl?

No, I haven't. Is that so crazy?

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Adam Rifkin

Adam Rifkin, sometimes credited as Rif Coogan, is an American film director, producer, actor, and screenwriter. His career ranges from broad family comedies to dark and gritty urban dramas. He is best known for writing family-friendly comedies like Mouse Hunt and 2007's Underdog. more…

All Adam Rifkin scripts | Adam Rifkin Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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