Homecoming

Subtitle Rip; TheHeLL

That's the latest hit

by the Explorers Club, Do You Love Me?

This one went out to the Mount Bliss

Tigers, who had quite a victory tonight...

...in an otherwise tough season.

They were inspired by Mike Donaldson,

our own number seven,...

...in town on this homecoming weekend

to retire his jersey.

Sh*t!

- Sh*t.

- Hey!

Hey!

You guys are late.

That's twice this week.

- Roads were bad.

- You better get your asses in gear.

We got the game tonight,

and we're already slammed.

Copy that.

- Hey.

- Hey.

I'm sorry I'm so late. Come here.

- I just ran into my psych professor.

- Yeah?

He said he's halfway through

my paper, and so far,

- best one he's read all semester.

- Wow!

Is this the rats in the maze one

or the hugging baby chimps one?

Hugging baby chimps.

Hey! Seriously!

You'd be surprised what happens

to chimps that don't get hugged enough.

It's not a pretty thing.

Same with people.

Tell me about it.

You OK?

You're not still worried about

the whole "meeting my folks" thing?

All right, seriously,

I want them to like me.

This is such an important part

of the whole courting ritual.

I don't get a second chance

at this sort of thing.

Hey, Elizabeth!

Hey, I thought that was you.

- What up, Mike?

- Eddie.

So where you two going?

We're going to Mike's hometown

in Pennsylvania this weekend.

It's his homecoming weekend out there.

Mount Bliss Tigers!

- Guess the team doesn't need ya, Mike?

- It's a bye week... dick.

Right. So hey, that sucks.

There's a Poets for Poverty benefit

in Wheeler Hall this Saturday.

- Wanted to know if you wanted to come.

- That's too bad.

But they're actually retiring his high

school football jersey this weekend.

Cool, the football jersey.

It's an honor, man.

- Yeah, we're running kind of late...

- So I'll see you Monday then, right?

- Bye.

- OK. Bye.

Shelby. Can I speak

with you for a second?

- I'm real busy right now, Lloyd.

- It'll only take a minute.

Shelby, I wanna make things

as comfortable as possible with this,

but you're really gonna

need to cooperate with me.

You just have to trust

that I have a plan.

I do. I do, but the bank

is gonna need to see some progress.

I told you I'd stop into the bank.

And I will.

It's just that right now is...

Hey, I'll tell you what.

How about I stop into the bank tomorrow,

and we can talk more?

OK, Shelby.

You really need to come by this time.

I'm sorry, I just can't stand that guy.

What the hell did you ever see in him?

Obviously, not enough.

What about you?

Who's this ex-girlfriend?

What's her name?

Shelby?

Ancient history.

- You got nothing to worry about.

- All right.

OK, I'm just checking.

- Hey, Billy.

- Hey, Shel.

So Mikey is supposed

to be at the game tonight.

They're retiring

his jersey this weekend.

- Really? I hadn't heard.

- Don't be jealous, Billy.

I don't think I've been this excited

since homecoming last year.

If you had to wait four long months

to see your guy, wouldn't you be?

- I thought you guys were finished.

- Yeah, well, I haven't seen him

since he went off to school, but...

I just didn't want to be a distraction,

what with his being on the team and all.

- I wish I had a girl like that.

- You wish you had a girl at all.

This is true.

I'll head over there early.

They're getting the press box.

- All right. Go Tigers!

- Yeah. Go Tigers.

This weekend's homecoming festivities

will include a ring ceremony

for the championship team,

capped off by our own

Mike Donaldson's jersey retirement.

Way to go, number seven.

We got a celebrity in the building.

- Oh, my God! What's up?

- Easy.

- Great to see you! God!

- How are you?

- We hugged!

- Hey, Billy.

Hello. And you must be...

No, no, no. Don't tell me.

Elizabeth Sara Mitchum,

born 1988, Evanston, Illinois.

- One brother, one sister.

- That's impressive.

- More like creepy.

- I had to pull her files.

See who my cousin was hanging out with.

Make sure she's not a lunatic.

Elizabeth, this is my cousin Billy.

- It's nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

- There's food. I'll fix us a plate, OK?

- OK, cool.

All right.

She's cute.

Just want to give you a heads-up.

I saw Shelby earlier today.

I think she thinks you guys

are still an item.

What? Come on,

she's probably just playing.

No, no. She's not playing, man.

She talks about you all the time.

Wow! Very healthy.

- Vegetables.

- Why don't you guys take a seat.

- Yeah.

- Really, the whole pizza?

All right, Jablonski,

open up your wallet.

- He's nice.

- He's the man.

- I always wanted to be like him.

- Really?

Yeah. He blew his knee out

in the championship game.

He had a full ride to Ohio State.

Lost it.

Hey, Mike, how's it going

up at Northwestern?

My brother played basketball there.

- Oh, yeah? Tell him to call.

- I'll tell him.

- Mikey, coming to The Alley?

- You're gonna be at the spot, right?

We gotta test that big arm of yours

at the bowling alley.

I don't wanna embarrass you

in front of your girl.

I'm just saying, Mikey.

- Sure you want to go?

- Maybe we should just head home.

What, to The Alley?

Yeah, we're gonna go.

I wanna meet your friends

and see your life. Why wouldn't we go?

- See you there.

- Let's go. Come on.

What was that?

- You OK?

- Yeah.

What's wrong?

Nothing, it's no big deal. It's just...

- Spit it out, Mikey.

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