Home Run Showdown Page #2

That's my son.

Karen and l adopted him

out of foster care

two months ago.

You'd know that

if you read

an emaiI or...

returned one

of my caIIs.

I'm sorry.

Want to go grab

something to eat?

You got fat.

[scoffs]

Kick your butt.

That's without

a personaI trainer,

and I work

for a Iiving.

Yeah, what are you,

mayor now?

District attorney.

Got my own

parking spot.

And a bathroom key.

Look at you,

fancy pants.

CongratuIations.

How's Emma?

She's aII right.

Been hard on her

and Tyler since

James died overseas,

but she says she's glad

to be back in Okmulgee.

What do we say

we go get you

a saIad?

A saIad?

Yeah.

No cheese.

Good morning,

Mr. PopuIar.

He's cute.

You've been suspended

for eight weeks.

WeII, good morning

to you, too,

Miss Sunshine.

Come here.

I want to show you

something.

"Corey Brand

injures bat boy."

A miIIion hits.

AIready.

It was an accident.

Can we taIk

about this

Iater, pIease?

"Boozes it up in Vegas."

364,908 hits.

That was a good night.

"Drunk at a Strip CIub."

21 7,402 hits.

You're a disaster.

Yeah, weII,

I'm a 3-27

career hitter.

"Cory Brand DUl

Caught on Tape".

Over a million hits.

Yeah, it Iooks a IittIe bad

when you put them aII

together, aII right?

But there were a Iot

of sober moments

in between them.

You stiII got

that condo in Miami?

FIoor is a IittIe warped.

Popped the water bed.

Here's what

you're going to do.

You're going

to fIy to TuIsa

and drive down

to OkmuIgee.

I'm not going

to OkmuIgee.

Oh, yes, you are.

You're going to Okmulgee

and make nice with the kid.

And then I'II arrange

a very pubIic photo op.

The kid

has a name.

It's CarIos.

CarIos is going to get

a bag fuII of crap

from the GrizzIies,

and a photo op

with a ceIebrity.

Then go chiII on the beach

in Miami for eight weeks.

Yeah, Iucky me.

PIus, the GrizzIies want

proof that you're attending

a 1 2-step program.

1 2-step?

They want you

out of sight

untiI you've compIeted

eight weeks.

And Iast but not Ieast,

you're writing a check

for $1 0,000

for Young Life,

for that homer

you screwed up.

I'II see you in TuIsa.

Ladies and gentleman,

weIcome to TuIsa

lnternational Airport.

Local time is 3:
34

and the temperature

is 98 degrees.

Hey, you didn't have

to waste so much money

renting such a fancy car.

Don't worry about it.

How do you even

get in this thing?

It's got no handIes.

We're here to heIp

farm boy.

Oh, man, Mr. Arby's

forgot my curIy fries.

Hey, don't make me

go back in there, okay?

That guys nearIy cried

when I signed his hat.

He did not.

A grown man.

There were tears.

Right.

Hey, don't forget

the Arby's sauce.

I got it.

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