Hit by Lightning

Synopsis: When Ricky Miller, a single, quiet 40-year old aspiring writer and manager of Debbie's (think Denny's) and probably the last person you'd notice in a crowd is 'hit by lightning' and meets the love of his life, the beautiful Danita on E-Happily.com, he is catapulted into a relationship online but it's a lot more than what he bargained for - this includes being asked to kill! Hounded by his best friend Seth who thinks no "10" would even go out with a guy like Ricky unless she had ulterior motives (or needed glasses), Ricky starts to get skeptical himself. Turns out, Danita confesses she's actually married to a handsome affable crime novelist and former Rabbi, Ben Jacobs. Is Danita telling Ricky the truth when she says wants to leave her husband but fears for her life if she does? Will Ricky go through with the plan to kill him so he and Danita can live happily ever after?
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Romance
Director(s): Ricky Blitt
Production: Gravitas Ventures
 
IMDB:
5.0
Metacritic:
31
Rotten Tomatoes:
11%
NOT RATED
Year:
2014
89 min
Website
32 Views


All my life, I had been looking

for my prince.

You know, someone deep, someone

sweet,

who could make me laugh...

Ashley and me talked on the

phone all night and

I totally cracked her up with my

witty jokes and funny noises,

And right from the very first

second our chemistry was like...

hel-lo!

And we're both really sensitive.

We have this kind of

artsy-fartsy going, so one day,

we made a painting...

Everything we do together is

fun.

F*** you, Dylan and Ashlee.

Jorge, Jorge... we've been over

this before.

You can't smoke in Debby's.

No, man, I think you can.

I'm, I'm the manager here,

I'm fairly well versed in the

rules, c'mon buddy put it out.

Don't you ever bend the rules?

No...

Corporate puppet.

How's your... food?

It's Saturday night, we're gonna

do it.

We are gonna doooooo it!

Getting paid and laid tonight,

bebe.

Paid and laid.

I, I don't even know what that

means?

It means what we want it to

mean, okay?

It means what we want it to

mean. You dig?

Um, no, I don't... dig.

Ricky what is with you?

Come on, stop being such a

buzzkill.

Now grab your cock and put on

some socks,

cause we are gonna do this town

up and do it right, senorrrita!

Paid and laid. We're doing it!

How exactly are we "doing it?"

Uh, well I don't know? Numero uno, hog,

got you out of the house so there's that.

W is a W

I'm back where I work! It's a

lateral move at best.

Alright well look... that's just

round one of the festivities.

You're NOT going to believe

round two.

Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, you're not

going to believe round two.

Please stop repeating things

please.

Soooo... when do you go into

production?

Really, really not in the mood,

nope.

When do you go into production?

Next month.

Great. So you go into production

on your motion picture next month?

Is it fully cast yet?

No, no, it is, it is, not fully

cast yet.

We're still uh, we're still looking

for our, our last two actresses.

Wow, well just fantastic, that's

just, that's just super.

That's just deluxe.

Now do they have to be well

known or...?

Do they have to be... Ricky,

Ricky, Ricky?

They have to be well known these

actresses?

No, no, we're actually looking

for two total newcomers.

This makes me happy as the film's director,

because I like to work with fresh faces, so...

Uh... me too uh, as the

movie's... executive producer...

Hey, man. Ahh, I can't work Saturday.

Can I get a 'double' next week?

Oh sure, no problem.

Ah you know what,

these broken down fillies are just gonna

get in the way of round two anyhow.

Round two, baby. Round two.

Yum, Yum.

Doing it long and doing it

strong!

Maybe we should just shoot each

other.

Hey, you seem a bit down man.

What up, hog?

It's Saturday night and I'm with

you.

Not for long, bebe. Not for

long.

So when do you go into

production...

Gary Kless is getting married.

Yeah, me too. Who cares?

Oh what's that, the actresses

don't need to be fresh faces...?

That leaves just you and me.

Just you and me.

We are the only two freaks from

high school to NEVER be married.

Can I asked you a question? How

the hell do you even know that?

I keep track on Facebook and

Twitter.

God, Gary is so lucky, man.

Oh that's weird, I thought you get

your period at the end of the month.

MEN don't get jealous of other

MEN getting married!

Men should be jealous of us.

Oh, I strongly disagree.

Jesus, is why you've been

Captain Negativo all night?

Cause that fat bastard Gary

Kless is getting married?

There was this guy on Dr. Phil who said

that it's as likely for a woman over forty

to get hit by lightning or,

or killed by a terrorist than

meet a husband.

What if the same thing goes for

men?

What if Gary just got lucky and he

made a pact with God and/or Satan?

I can't go to another of these

weddings alone.

It's just too depressing.

You're not going to be going

alone okay man?

You're going to be going be with

me.

That's... not comforting.

What is wrong with you? Haven't

you seen "Wedding Crashers?"

Common, all those losers in our

class are married off,

we're going to cleaning up bigger

than Owen Wilson and Vinny Vaughn!

Hot filly. Three o'clock.

I forgot my compass.

She's right over there, look at

her, look at her.

That girl is seventeen, tops.

So what? Means she's single.

You'd have sex with an underage

girl?

I'm not a monster, no!

I'd take her out for cookies and milk

shakes until the day she turned eighteen

and then plow her.

Sorry I misjudged you.

Should've proposed to Roz when

we were together.

You dated her in high school.

I had no idea there would be so

few good ones after that.

It's like, it's like in hockey,

you know,

a team goes to the finals and

loses, everybody says

"Hey you know don't worry, we'll

get 'em next year"

what if there is no next year.

What if there is no other Roz

and

I never go to the Stanley Cup

finals of love ever again?

K, K if you hadn't mentioned

hockey there,

that might have been the gayest

thing I've ever heard.

Come on man! Get your game face

on, d-o-g.

We have a wedding to crash!

First of all, we were invited...

second of all, all our friends

are married.

There ARE NO single women!

What about the...

She's seventeen!

We don't know that for a fact!

Jeez... would ya... okay you what...

I'm going in, okay...? I'm going

in.

Please, God,

help me find my soulmate before

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes

Ricky Blitt

Richard Michael "Ricky" Blitt is a Canadian screenwriter, film director, producer, and voice actor. Early in his career, Blitt was a writer on The Parent Hood, The Jeff Foxworthy Show, The Jon Stewart Show, On the Record with Bob Costas, Costas Now, and Brotherly Love. Beginning in 1999, he wrote a number of episodes of the animated television series Family Guy. In 2005, Blitt wrote the screenplay of The Ringer. In 2007, he created and was the producer of The Winner. Blitt also owns the production company "Candy Bar Productions". He voiced Steve Smith in the pilot episode for the animated show American Dad!, but was replaced by Scott Grimes in the actual series. In 2010, he created a TV series, Romantically Challenged, starring Alyssa Milano, which ran from April 19, 2010 to May 17, 2010 on ABC. more…

All Ricky Blitt scripts | Ricky Blitt Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "Hit by Lightning" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/hit_by_lightning_10014>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Browse Scripts.com

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.