Hit and Run Page #2

Synopsis: HIT AND RUN is a comedy about a young couple ('Kristen Bell' and 'Dax Shepard') that risks it all when they leave their small town life and embark on a road trip that may lead them towards the opportunity of a lifetime. Their fast-paced road trip grows awkwardly complicated and hilarious when they are chased by a friend from the past ('Bradley Cooper'), a federal marshal ('Tom Arnold') and a band of misfits.
Production: Open Road Films
  1 win.
 
IMDB:
6.1
Metacritic:
50
Rotten Tomatoes:
49%
R
Year:
2012
100 min
$13,600,000
Website
805 Views


You know,

where you're the one

holding the mop.

Um, fired from

a jack-off booth?

Where the truckers

go and masturbate.

Yeah. I know what

you're talking about.

Well? Would you?

Um...

No. I would not.

And yet, you're here

at Milton Valley,

the jack-off booth

of academia.

I'm not sure

what your point is.

You're too smart and

passionate to work here.

So why do you?

You know, I created

my own major at Stanford.

I have a doctorate

in Non-Violent

Conflict Resolution,

which no university

offers as a major.

They just don't.

So I teach intro

to soc classes.

And I'm... I'm also

in a relationship here.

I'm going to stop you.

UC is starting a conflict

resolution program.

I spoke to the head of

the Sociology Department.

And she's extremely

interested in hiring you

to run that program.

No way.

Now, she's meeting

the other applicant

on Wednesday

and she'll need to

make a decision that day.

Their semester

starts in a week.

(WHISPERS) You're meeting

her on Wednesday.

Oh, my God!

Thank you so much!

I'm so flattered

that you would

even consider me!

I just have to check

with my boyfriend Charlie

because he has...

He can't exactly

leave, uh, Milton.

Annie.

Please.

I went to state school.

I went to football games

and blacked out

and got date raped.

I had abortions.

I worried too much about

what my boyfriends thought.

I got what I deserved.

But that's not you.

You deserve

so much more than this.

RANDY:
I hope your

neighbor doesn't report

Why? You're a marshal.

You're allowed to fire

your weapon, aren't you?

Yeah, but I've had

a couple incidences.

And this would be bad.

Although,

I don't know what more

they could do to me.

This seems like the

bottom of the barrel

as far as being a marshal.

Why did you get stuck

with witness protection?

Because I accidentally

discharged my weapon.

Once at a gas station

and another time at

a baseball game.

At a baseball game?

Yes.

No! Nobody.

Are you kidding me? No!

It wasn't even my fault!

I'm not kidding you.

You shoot your weapon

off at a baseball game

It's not crazy

that I would assume

maybe someone got shot.

Listen,

I asked for a revolver.

A revolver

has a hammer

that you pull back.

And a safety. But no.

What do they give me?

Right.

Jesus Christ, man.

Be careful with that.

Yeah. Look at that.

Okay.

Now, you heard stuff

going on. I mean...

(GUN CLICKS)

(BOTH SHOUTING)

I don't know.

That's not even safe.

Randy, Randy, Randy, Randy.

Please, please,

please, please! Okay?

I'll just...

From now on, don't touch

my weapon anymore. Okay?

Listen, I wasn't...

I know we're

friends and everything.

And it's kind of

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes

Dax Shepard

Daximus ‘Dax’ Randall Shepard (born January 2, 1975) is an American actor, writer and director. He is best known for his work in the feature films Without a Paddle (2004), Zathura: A Space Adventure (2005), Employee of the Month (2006), Idiocracy (2006), Let's Go to Prison (2006), Hit and Run (2012), and CHiPs (2017), the last pair of which he also wrote and directed, and the MTV practical joke reality series Punk'd (2003). He portrayed Crosby Braverman in the NBC comedy-drama series Parenthood from 2010 to 2015. more…

All Dax Shepard scripts | Dax Shepard Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "Hit and Run" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/hit_and_run_10013>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Browse Scripts.com

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.