Hero Page #3

BERNIE:

Oh yeah? A hero, huh?

(a beat, then...)

Was he in the 'Nam, this guy Elliot?

JOEY:

"The Nomm"? What's that?

BERNIE:

It was this war. Viet Nam. Doesn't

matter.

JOEY:

Were you in it? In the war?

BERNIE:

You never saw that picture, huh?

JOEY:

What picture?

BERNIE:

Me in my uniform. Used to be on

the bookcase.

INT. MEN'S ROOM/FLUKY'S - TEN MINUTES LATER (DAY)

Deserted except for BERNIE and JOEY side by side at the urinals.

BERNIE glances at JOEY.

BERNIE:

Whatcha gotta do there, buddy, is

ya gotta get in close so ya don't

piss on yer shoes.

It don't matter now cause you're

wearin' them sneakers but the time's

gonna come when you're gonna be

wearin' good shoes, expensive ones,

and you don't wanna piss on them,

you wanna protect 'em. From piss,

from tough guys, from everything.

-- ALTERNATE VERSION --

BERNIE:

What I don't like about public

restrooms is how you're always

standing in piss. It don't matter

to you, you got those sneakers but

I'm standing in piss in very

expensive shoes. It's a breakdown

in custodial services.

JOEY steals a glance at BERNIE, sees him "shake it off" and zip

up. JOEY does likewise.

JOEY:

Are you gonna take me somewhere next

weekend?

BERNIE:

I'm working on that. It's just I

got some business problems and...

whatsa matter?

JOEY is heading for one of the stalls. He reaches underneath

and pulls out a wallet.

JOEY:

Somebody lost a wallet.

BERNIE is extremely interested, takes the wallet JOEY holds out

and glances inside.

Cash. A couple of fifties.

INT. FLUKY'S - SECONDS LATER (DAY)

BERNIE and JOEY exit the Men's Room and head for the door to

the parking lot, BERNIE explaining...

BERNIE:

You give it to the manager, he

pockets the dough, throws the wallet

away. Most people who work in

supervisory positions... I'm not

saying all... are crooks.

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