Haunted Honeymoon Page #2

a lonely estate, miles from anywhere.

- Have you told Vickie?

- No, not Vickie, that'd be too risky.

I'm afraid she couldn't be objective.

Are you promising you can cure Larry?

I, Paul Abbot, promise that

I can cure Larry within 36 hours.

- Just by scaring him?

- By scaring him to death.

I don't know. I can be feeling swell, then

something sets it off and I'm scared to death.

So you acted nutty

for a few shows, so what?

You're the best actor in New York,

with the hottest show, and you still got me.

So, listen, cookie, if something scares you

before Sunday, just say,

"Whoops, there goes my imagination again.

How do you like that?"

You think that'll work?

Always in all ways rely upon me...

Whoops, there goes my imagination again.

How do you like that?

That's my guy. Did you hear what the bug

said to the windshield?

- What?

- That's me all over.

Sweet.

Don't you get it? If a bug splattered...

- Honey, is my tie straight?

- What?

- Is my tie straight?

- Your tie's fine.

- Yeah, but is it straight?

- Yeah, it's straight.

Oh, good.

Someone in this family is trying to kill me.

What? You don't know what you're saying.

Larry's the only one I trust.

Please give me the pen. I haven't much time.

- They'll all be here any moment.

- I love you, Kate.

I respect you as if you were my own mother.

Oh...

You're the dearest person I know.

I'd even die for you, Kate.

But darling, never mind

that I'm a member of the family,

before you sign,

there's one thing you haven't considered.

- What's that?

- What if Larry dies before you do?

If Larry should die, you can all share the money

equally, just as it was before.

Francis, you're the only living person

that knows I've changed my will.

If you ever tell anyone

may your soul rot in hell.

What a cosy place for a wedding.

Who lived here before? Count Dracula?

- Will you lay off that? I grew up here.

- No wonder you turned out so normal.

- Hey, hey.

- Sorry. Must be delightful by daylight.

- Run for it, sweetie. I'll get the bags.

- OK.

Go on, honey, knock on the door.

I'll be right there.

I'm... I'm engaged to Larry Abbot

and he... said he grew up here.

Oh, you know... He...

He was just... You know him, he says he...

Maybe I'm at the wrong house.

I can come back, thank you.

Sorry, honey.

Oh, I see you've already met.

I am Pfister, the family butler.

And I'm the little boy you used

to tuck into bed...

and bring milk and cookies to

just before you kissed me good night.

- Your name, please?

- My name?

- Is he kidding?

- Come in, Mr Kidding. I'll take the bags.

Won't you follow me, please?

- Poor Pfister, his memory's going.

- I wish we were.

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