Harold and Maude Page #4

25EXT. CHASEN HOME - DAY

Mrs. Chasen opens the front door and is saying farewell to

two lady friends, the same kind of chic sophisticates as

she is. Just then a hearse pulls into the driveway,

passes them, and parks by the garage. The two women are

somewhat stunned. Harold gets out of the hearse and goes

into the backyard. The two women look to Mrs. Chasen for

some explanation. Mrs. Chasen smiles lamely.

26INT. CHASEN'S DEN - DAY

Mrs. Chasen is addressing a seated and mute Harold.

MRS. CHASEN

Why you purchased that monstrous

thing is totally beyond me. You

can have any car you want - a Porsche,

a Jaguar, a nice little MG roadster

- but that ugly, black horror is an

eyesore and an embarrassment.

Really, Harold, you are no longer

a child. It's time for you to

settle down and stop flitting away

your talents on these amateur

theatrics - your little

"divertissements" - no matter how

psychologically purging they may

be. I don't know what to do.

27INSERT - CLOSEUP OF UNCLE VICTOR - LEFT PROFILE

UNCLE VICTOR:

I'd put him in the Army, Helen.

28INT. CHASEN'S DEN - DAY

Mrs. Chasen continues.

MRS. CHASEN

Go have a talk with your Uncle

Victor. Perhaps he can fathom you.

After all, he was General Bradley's

right hand man.

29INT. VICTOR'S OFFICE - DAY

UNCLE VICTOR, a bluff, hearty, totally military man, is a

one star general with an amputated right arm. Harold sits

before him.

UNCLE VICTOR:

Harold, your mother has briefed me

on your situation and there is no

doubt in my mind of the requisite

necessary action. If it was up to

me I'd process your file and ship

you off to boot camp tomorrow.

Your mother, however, is adamant.

She does not want you in the Army

and insists on my holding on to

your draft records. But what do

you say, Harold?

(he begins a

selling job)

It's a great life. Action! Adventure!

Advising. See war - firsthand! Plenty

of slant-eyed girls. It will make a

man out of you, Harold. You'll travel

the world. Put on the uniform and

take on a man's job. Walk tall! -

with a glint in your eye, a spring

in your step, and the knowledge in

your heart that you are -

(he gestures to a

poster of bullet-

blazing Marines)

- working for peace, and - are

serving your country.

He stops before a poster of Nathan Hale with a noose about

his neck.

UNCLE VICTOR:

(continuing)

Like Nathan Hale. That's what this

country needs - more Nathan Hales.

He pulls his lanyard, activating some weird mechanism which

snaps up his empty sleeve into a natty salute. A pause.

The sleeve smartly refolds and he turns to Harold.

UNCLE VICTOR:

(softly)

And, Harold, I think I can see a

little Nathan Hale in you.

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