Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay Page #3

Inside this mechanism, I have

actually made a little tiny, tiny fan...

and some disinfectant powder, OK,

it works sort of like a deodorizer...

so that anything it expunges

smells like Lysol.

- Put it away.

- No, dude.

Can you not wait

till we get to Amsterdam?

It's the weed capital of the world!

- No.

- Put the bong away!

- Take the inaugural hit, dude.

- No!

Come on, man.

- Then I'm gonna do it.

- Put it away. Put the frickin' bong away.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Turb...

Terrorist!

Roldy?

- What the f*** is that thing in his hands?

- No, ma'am, not a terrorist.

- He's just an idiot.

- This is just a bong.

He said he got a bomb!

No, people,

it's a water pipe for tobacco.

No, no, no, it's not a bomb. It's just a bong.

Poison gas!

It's marijuana! Marijuana!

You picked the wrong plane,

you terrorist f***!

Hey!

Hey, what are you doing?

There are three air marshals

on board. Three!

We are not terrorists!

Sir, that's a bong, not a bomb.

Shut up!

I got this one!

- Roldy?

- Please don't!

I am in a great amount of pain!

Everybody relax. Just calm down.

Everything is under control.

Tell 'em to turn the plane around. These

two a**holes are goin' back to the U.S.

Secretary Fox. Glad you could make it.

Think I'd miss a terrorist attack

of this magnitude?

Not a f***in' chance.

Who are these people?

Representatives

of the different intelligence agencies.

I assume

Secretary Whitmore's coming?

Negative. He's on an ice fishing trip

in Glacier Bay.

I'm in charge while he's gone.

Well, shouldn't he be alerted?

Isn't this issue of more importance

than an ice fishing trip?

Who are you again?

Dr. John Beecher,

Vice Chairman of the NSA.

Yeah, well, listen, Dr... Dipshit.

You've obviously

never been ice fishing before.

- No, I haven't.

- Yeah, well, it's f***ing exhilarating.

The last thing anyone would want

while fishing for pike is to be interrupted.

Now back off...

and let me do my job.

What's up with the guy

with the weird eyes?

He handicapped or something?

We believe he's of Korean descent.

My God.

North Korea and al-Qaeda

workin' together.

This is bigger than I thought.

You couldn't wait?

You couldn't f***ing wait?

We were about to have

all the legal weed we wanted.

You know, in Amsterdam,

where we were going!

Thought you could

get away with this, huh?

You thought that after 9l11

our national security was a joke, huh?

Well...

guess what?

What?

We knew you f***ers would be back.

- Holy sh*t!

- But we're Americans, man.

- We love America. We love America!

- Very much.

That's a convenient thing to say...

after you try and blow up a plane

filled with Americans!

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