Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay Page #2
Hey, I ran into Todd,
at Whitaker's, of course.
He told me you got a job
working for the government.
Yeah! Yeah, President Bush and my dad
were in the same fraternity.
- Oh, that's right.
- Oh, Jesus.
Yeah, yeah, when he gave my dad that
appointment at the Defense Department...
- I became his right-hand man.
- Douche.
The President's supposed to be
at our wedding...
- but you know how busy he is.
- Yeah.
Sounds like an incredible job, man.
Hey, you really got
some major connections to the top.
If you ever need anything, I'm your man.
- Thank you so much, buddy.
- Anytime.
This guy's the best.
- So, sweetheart, we should get going.
- Yes.
- Good to see you guys again.
- Congratulations again.
- Thank you. Take care, thank you.
- It's so nice.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Dude, I can't believe
they're getting married.
We've only been broken up two years.
Plus that dude has date-rape face.
I don't even know what that is.
One who possesses
the face of a date rapist.
Right. Listen...
I'm sorry, bro.
But we are going to Amsterdam.
Come on.
This is true. This is true, Roldy.
# Ooh wee #
- Man, this is so not like me.
- Yeah.
It's like I'm a whole new Harold.
Better, faster, stronger.
Nice.
Man, I've never used a sick day before.
from work here, man.
And in less than eight hours,
we're gonna be in Amsterdam.
- This is nuts. This is nuts.
- I know, dude.
It's gonna be exactly like Euro Trlp,
only it's not gonna suck.
- It's gonna be awesome.
- It's not not gonna be awesome.
Dude. Dude, this chick's giving me
such a boner, it's awesome.
Thank you. You ruined the moment.
She's all yours, buddy.
- I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
No, that's...
Enjoy.
Just a minute.
Fuc...
Hey, hey.
Let me in.
What are you doing?
I'm taking a piss, a**hole!
- Yeah.
- Yo!
I'm not joining
the mile-high club with you.
What about the really high club?
- Are you retarded?
- No.
You brought weed
on the f***ing airplane?
- Yep.
- What the f***?
Wait a second. You were giving
Yeah. How else was I
supposed to get past him?
By not bringing drugs on an airplane?
- Look... What are you doing? What is this?
- You'll see.
Harold Lee, I would like to introduce you
to an invention of mine.
Meet the smokeless bong.
- You made this?
- You know, I did.
When you were slaving away at work...
I was actually being
a productive member of society.
- Yeah, that's really productive.
- Let me show you how it works.
So you take a little weed...
put it in the bowl right here and
light it just like a normal bong, OK?
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"Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/harold_%2526_kumar_escape_from_guantanamo_bay_9648>.
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