Happy Valley Page #3

Season #2 Episode #3

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there’s no buses up there where

they live. Well, there [are] -

might be, but... I don’t know where

they go. So what am I supposed to

do? Walk home? Hitch a lift? Call a

f[uck]ing taxi? Fly?

Just then this bloke comes along, he’s a wobbly drunk with an

inane grin, eyes that struggle to focus and the verbal

diarrhoea of the well-oiled. This is SPIKE (47). He has a

creased, leathery face and little brown teeth. It’s CLARE

he’s spotted. He’s obviously very fond of her

SPIKE:

Clare! Well if it isn’t our Clare!

(this bloke stinks of

stale alcohol. We pick

that up from the look on

CATHERINE’s face)

How’s yerself? Where’ve yer been,

eh? I’ve not seen you foh years.

CLARE:

Spike.

(he embraces her, she’s

pissed enough to be

sentimental with him,

even though he smells

bad)

Aww!

SPIKE:

Am I interrupting?

CLARE:

No, we were just

SPIKE:

(interrupts)

I’m not interrupting, only I just

saw yer and I fort I’ll say hello,

cos - bloody ‘ell - how y’keeping?

CLARE:

Yeah, I’m

She nods, implying that she’s okay.

HAPPY VALLEY SERIES TWO. EPISODE THREE. PEACH SCRIPT. 88.

SPIKE:

D’you see anyone? Eh? The old crew.

Eh? All disbanded, man. Eh? I’m

telling yer.

(he turns to CATHERINE, no

idea who she is)

Good times. But I’ll tell yer what

though, sh*t happens. It’s good to

see yer though. Eh?

(he turns to CATHERINE)

Do I know you?

(CATHERINE’s shaking her

head like:
I’ve got no

idea whether you think

you know me or not)

You look familiar.

CLARE:

This is me sister.

SPIKE:

Ah! That’s it, that’ll be it.

He offers his hand.

CLARE:

Catherine.

SPIKE:

Spike. How d’you do.

(CATHERINE shakes, trying

to touch him as little as

possible)

I fort I knew yer. I fort you were

this - the’s this copper round

here, she has a look o’ you, she’s

a right b[itch] - pardon my French,

but she finks she’s well hard, she

did our Aaron for possession and

she nearly brock his bloody arm.

Not you obvious[ly]

CATHERINE:

Yeah well happen if he’d gone

quietly she wouldn’ta needed to

show him who’s in charge.

So SPIKE’s realising he’s just put his foot in it there.

CUT TO:

4 EXT. STREET, HEBDEN BRIDGE. NIGHT 6. 00.30 4

Later. CLARE’s throwing up by a wall in the car park where

they have the market on Tuesdays.

HAPPY VALLEY SERIES TWO. EPISODE THREE. PEACH SCRIPT. 99.

CATHERINE’s loitering, half protectively, half looking around

hoping no-one’s seeing this or indeed been woken up by it.

CLARE comes up from the deluge groaning.

CATHERINE:

It was Tommy Lee Royce’s mother’s

funeral. An hour after Helen’s.

Same crematorium. That’s why I

left. I went back. I’m sorry. I’m

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