Happy Valley Page #3

Season #2 Episode #1

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CATHERINE:

There’s no external injuries.

(then to SHAF - )

Happen they’ve been poisoned.

SHAF:
even freakier.

HAPPY VALLEY SERIES TWO. EPISODE ONE. GREEN SCRIPT. 7.

CATHERINE (CONT’D)

(vo)

So okay so I didn’t mean comical.

Exactly. I meant more -

CUT TO:

14 INT/EXT. CATHERINE’S HOUSE, CONSERVATORY. DAY 1. 17.40 14

As before, CATHERINE and CLARE.

CATHERINE:

ironic. Way it turned out. Nicky

Baxter - the vet from Bolton Brow -

he’s managed to get over there

sooner than he’d anticipated. So.

He’s given the sheep a fatal

injection. I thought I’d finished

the poor little sod off, but - God

knows - I mustn’t have. So. The

sheep’s got pentobarbital seeping

silently through its veins...

(it’s around this point

that she happens to take

her sun glasses off,

revealing a bruised cheek

and two stitches)

and guess what. The dogs - whether

they’re the same ones who’d mauled

it in the first place, or a whole

new pack - they decide to have

another go at it. And there’s

enough chemicals inside the sheep

by this point in the pantomime to

knock out half of Huddersfield,

never mind a handful of feral

mongrels over in Ovenden.

CLARE’s shaking her head: mad, sad, hilarious, tragic.

CLARE:

Oh my God.

CATHERINE:

Anyway, I’ve had a tip off by then

about a couple of these lads who’d

nicked the sheep in the first

place, so

CUT TO:

15 EXT. FLATS. DAY 1. 16.30 15

LADS 1 and 2 are cuffed, and being led towards a police van

by CATHERINE and SHAF. GORKEM is also there.

HAPPY VALLEY SERIES TWO. EPISODE ONE. GREEN SCRIPT. 8.

The lads are snarling, aggressive, emotional (even though

what they’re actually saying is comical). CATHERINE’s got a

brand new gash on her cheek, and judging by her temper, it’s

LAD 2 who’s done it.

LAD 2

Have yer no humanity?!

CATHERINE:

Are you talking to me?

LAD 1

We just wanted a bit o’ Sunday

dinner!

CATHERINE:

It’s Wednesday.

LAD 2

For his mam! She’s starting her

chemo on Monday! B*tch.

CATHERINE:

Listen, sh*t-for-brains.

(she gets him up against

the van just before she

loads him in, as a third

OFFICER gets the doors

open)

It was me that had to put that

sheep out of its misery ‘cos o’

you, so don’t talk to me about no

humanity.

She man handles him into the back of the van.

CATHERINE (CONT’D)

(v.o.)

I coulda let ‘em off with a stern

word and a Community Resolution -

thus helping Mr.Cameron and Mrs.May

massage their crime figures - but

they’d scored very poorly in the

attitude test, and that...

It’s at this point that CATHERINE smells something ugly.

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