Happy, Texas Page #2

They should get what they deserve.

Damn cop.

We'll take one, Your Honour.

Sold American. Let the record show

that they've agreed to one thousand.

Put in the time and date it.

One thousand?

Yes.

Thousand what?

Which one of you is Steven

and which one is David?

What?

Oh, for Christ's sakes.

Which one of you is Steven

and which of you fellas is David?

I'm Steven, and this is...

The other... The other one.

Well, Steven, we're talking about $ 1000

here, which you've just agreed to.

Two thousand is highway robbery

and you know it.

Now, if we're done here, you go to see

Joe at the bank in the morning.

You can sign for your money then.

Welcome to Happy.

There must be something here

with our names on it.

Midget clothes.

We're midgets.

We're not midgets.

No. Maybe whoever

owned this had kids.

Circus kids.

What about this?

Hey. Maybe we're tailors.

We travel from town to town...

tailoring dresses for...

circus midgets.

Travelling midget tailors.

Yeah, you think?

No.

"Pageant World.

A magazine for the pageant

and talent industry."

Heavy reading.

What is this?

Oh, my.

Whoo!

Legs that wrap around you twice.

Yeah.

"Princess pageants at pauper prices.

Dreams come true and we come to you.

Trust Steven and David

the pageant professionals."

We put on beauty pageants.

You mean, we drive around

in this thing here...

And slide hot bodies

into tight dresses.

I can do that.

Hey, it's photos.

Hey.

Yeah. Here we are

in front of the motor home.

Uh huh.

So we're gay.

How hard can that be?

It might not be hard for you

Rock Hudson...

but I have got heterosexual...

What?

Not gay written all over me.

It's business.

It's for the money.

I don't wanna be gay.

I'm not asking for the world here.

I'm not asking you to act civil.

Just... Just walk into the bank

and co sign for a thousand dollars.

A thousand dollars.

Do you really need a new tractor

or do you just want one?

All right. Now, can I have

your account number with the bank?

Hi. Uh, can I help you?

Yeah, sweetheart...

we got some confidential business

with the bank's president.

Oh, oh, you must be

the pageant people.

Yeah. We're here

to collect the thousand dollars.

Oh, I I think that's half

half a thousand.

No, no, all of it.

You wanna go fetch

the pants around here?

We prefer to deal with Joe.

Nothing personal.

Joe.

Josephine McClintock.

Howdy. How y'all doin'?

Folks round here call me Joe

after my dad.

He died quite sometime ago, so he's

gonna be kinda hard for me to fetch.

And I know that I'm just a girl

and everything, but I do believe...

that the agreement was 500 up front

and five upon completion.

Aren't we the a**holes?

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