Hai-Alarm am Muggelsee

Genre: Comedy
Production: X Filme Creative Pool
103 min

So what was it,

a circular saw?

Circular saw? Underwater?

Where'd it get the electricity?

It takes 380 volts.

You won't get that underwater.

I know something about this.

I made honor films

in New York.

A circular saw gives a straight cut,

not a ragged mess like this.

D'you want this back?

Nope. Too late.

I've got the new one now.

It's a good one.

If it wasn't a circular saw,

what was it?

Whatever it was,

it's still out there, I reckon.

Perhaps now we should consider

the city's marketing point of view.

There are three possibilities

of dealing with this situation

with the city's branding in mind:

a) we issue a shark alarm

or b) we carry on as before

c) no one goes in the water

but in a positive way.

Any questions?

What I don't get is,

if we carry on as before,

what use is that to us?

You mean b)?

- Yes, b).

That's plan b) and doesn't come

into question, yet.

I like shark alarm.

That's a).

Shark alarm?

Just for my hand?

Then c).

Or d).

- d) doesn't exist.

And who are you exactly?

I am the Fish Expert

from Humboldt University.

I've been called up.

- Not by me.

No, by my wife,

but that's another story.

What I wanted to say was:

d) someone catches the carp.

- Carp? I thought it was a shark.

Carp doesn't work.

It has no traction


- It's a Bighead Carp.

They bite?

- No.

Yes, well...

the Bighead Carp

is a sociable, freshwater fish

from the carp family

that came from Asia in the '60s

Then I'm for c).

- Me too.

What was c) again?

No one goes in the water,

but positive!

Hooold on!

What's this nun?

Just look at you!

Is this a gay parade or what?

Got something against gays?

- Got something against gays?

What, me? Against gays?

Would I have a hand like this

if I had something against gays?

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Leander Haußmann

Leander Haußmann (sometimes Haussmann) (born 26 June 1959, Quedlinburg) is a German theatre and film director. The son of actor Ezard Haußmann and costume designer Doris Haußmann, he attended the Ernst Busch theatre school in Berlin. He was the theatre director of the city theatre in Bochum (Schauspielhaus Bochum). He also wrote and acted in several plays (1995-2000), and had a role in the Detlev Buck film, Männerpension. His feature film breakthrough came with Sonnenallee in 1999. His second feature, Herr Lehmann, followed in 2003. His production of Die Fledermaus in Munich was controversial, compounding the trouble surrounding his production of Peter Pan. As a result, his scheduled production of Romeo and Juliet was cancelled. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"Hai-Alarm am Muggelsee" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 28 Feb. 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/hai-alarm_am_muggelsee_9475>.

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