Hacks Page #3
- Year:
- 2012
- 140 Views
What?
You photographed a married
couple having sex.
But they've got different surnames!
How very unfair of them(!)
Come on, there must be some way
we can use them?
The photos are great!
"Celebrity has sex with wife."
Oh, actually, that is unusual!
You're f***ing enjoying this,
aren't you?
No, Oliver, I... Oh, I am, actually!
Good morning, Miss Loy.
Zoe, f***ing wink at me again,
and I'll destroy your career,
your health and your sanity.
Sorry!
I know, I know. Don't cry.
Oh, message.
Rav says the fat man told him the
cops have arrested Charlie Bollocks.
Kate.
Have you not heard of e-mail?
No, I know you've got the
bollocks to print this...
Oh, great! The story
that got Kenny fired.
I can see what everyone's
doing on their computer!
Not without a phone!
Oliver's watching Billie Piper
naked on YouTube.
Come on! I was nice when you were
the squirt bringing the coffee!
Why not hack phones
like everyone else?
Cos...
They're celebs! Anyone with
a publicist has got it coming!
It's not that!
It's too easy.
The kids out there don't learn
the real skills any more.
They don't get proper stories!
You run a course in going through
dustbins and impersonating undertakers!
I gave the body back, didn't I?
All I'm saying...
F*** it! Ray, you're fired!
What? Goodbye. Rav!
I've got a story for you.
"Crimewatch couple's agony
over internet sex photos."
Ooh! What internet sex..?
These ones.
Stick them on the internet.
'Don't tell anybody... '
' 'I tried not to cry.
'I didn't want that to be
the last thing you heard.'
They didn't run the story
on Sunday,
got away with it.
'I said can we hold a funeral,
'but they said,
"No, not without a body."'
'I've booked us a room
at the usual place... '
I brainstormed the Channel 100
takeover with Trent.
Enzyme milkshake, baby. He thought it
should be me that made the announcement.
Tony and Cherie called.
Do we still want to go to the movie?
Oh, Jesus Christ!
Tell them I've had a stroke.
I say you have jet lag.
Dad, have you revisited my thoughts
about you slowing down a bit?
About maybe pencilling in
a timetable...
Connor, I've decided on a timetable.
Oh, great.
I'm going to slow down a bit
after I'm dead.
Anything else you want to discuss?
He's gay, he's younger than
his partner, he's in a boat.
What's wrong with it.
Toyboy Ahoy In Gay Away Day.
I think that's offensive.
You, Oliver Bland, think
something's offensive?
Oh, I get it.
He's one of your celebrity pals.
No. We are mates, yes, but...
Byron. You're gay.
You don't find it offensive, do you?
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