Synopsis: Once the tea girl Kate Loy is now the ruthless editor of scurrilous red top the Sunday Comet,owned by greedy Australian media magnate Stanhope Feast. The paper will stop at nothing for its ...
Genre: Comedy

So who are you going to

back at the next election?

Whichever one laughs loudest!

Why not just f***ing deny it?

It's the royals, the police

will take it seriously!

Yeah, but...

They know our Royal Correspondent called

the Prince's phone from our office.

Wrong number? Y'know,

she's got fat fingers and...

So, Oliver Bland.

Who did you have to shag

to become editor of The Comet?


No, it's not officially

been announced yet.

Detective Inspector,

this is Kate Loy.

She's going to be my Deputy Editor.

Hello, Chief Superintendent.

Assistant Commissioner.

Deputy Commissioner.

Nice to see you.

Assistant Chief Constable!

Deputy Assistant Commissioner.

Chief Constable.

So, who's running the Met tonight?

So don't tell me you're taking this

phone-hacking bollocks seriously?

Right, who wants to meet Britain's

most famous Detective Sergeant?

Micah Todd, off the telly!

So I hear the royals

are cutting up rough?

Mr Feast!

Which one is it? The tart,

the poof, or the Nazi?

I won't hear a word

said against the royals.

They always die on a Saturday.


Margaret, Diana and the Queen Mum.

We got to break the story

on a Sunday.


Listen, Connor says

I should sell the papers.

He says they're dinosaurs.

He said the TV made six billion,

you lot only made 40 million.

Well, as you said at Davos,

to the public, TV is a friend,

but newspapers are family.

In the end we count for more,

as blood is thicker than water.

So you think you're in

with a chance, then?

That's why you had

your little speech ready.


OK, OK. You're the new editor

of The Comet.

But I thought...

It's not decided till I decide.

Do you want to break the bad news

to Oliver or shall I?

Oh, I think I owe it to him

to do it myself.

Katherine Loy,

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Guy Jenkin

Guy Jenkin is a British film director and comedy writer who is best known for working together with Andy Hamilton on sitcoms and comedies such as Drop the Dead Donkey (1990-1998), Outnumbered (2007-2014), and Ballot Monkeys (2015). He wrote the 2002 satirical comedy Jeffrey Archer: The Truth, with Damian Lewis portraying Jeffrey Archer, and the 2003 drama film The Sleeping Dictionary, starring Jessica Alba. Jenkin also contributed to the popular 2006-2007 BBC series Life On Mars, writing the sixth episode of the second series about heroin in 1973 and the Asian community. The episode explores racism at the time. Jenkin is married to Bernadette Davis, the creator and writer of Some Girls. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Hacks" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 11 May 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/hacks_9468>.

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