Guest House Paradiso

Synopsis: Richie and Eddie are in charge of the worst hotel in the UK, Guest House Paradiso, neighbouring a nuclear power plant. The illegal immigrant chef has fled and all the guests have gone. But when a famous Italian filmstar, Gina Carbonara, who is in hiding from a fiance she doesn't want to marry, arrives at the hotel, things get very interesting! Another family come to the hotel as it is the only one they can afford, and when Richie uses the many tunnels and airways to steal some of their rubber bikinis, then is caught by the family's dad, he tries everything to get the video back. When Eddie finds some radioactive fish and it's served to the customers, a bunch of power plant workers find out and a quaratine is on its way. Even worse, when Gina's estranged fiance arrives, all hell breaks loose! Just in time for Eddie, Richie and Gina to escape to the Carribean and spend all their new found money!
Genre: Comedy, Thriller
Director(s): Adrian Edmondson
Production: Universal Pictures
 
IMDB:
6.1
R
Year:
1999
89 min
Website
75 Views


Wine?

It's a bit early, isn't it?

What about an aperitif, then?|Gin, scotch, poteen?

What? No, thank you. What we'd|really like is some breakfast.

Oh.

If he does show up, give him|some quick electric shock treatment

and send him back!

I eat your bacon!

I eat your trifle!

I drink your sherry!

And what I can't eat...|I put in the waste disposal!

You big, fat bastard make me sad!

(Grinding and smashing)

I can particularly recommend|this one.

- Which one?|- This page with all the wines.

It's a bit early for us.

What are you doing up, then?

Too early for wine, Eddie.|Go and help Chef.

Help Chef? But you know|Chef and I don't get on.

This is an emergency -|I'll do Pascal's job out here,

you do Pascal's job in there, OK?

OK.

Now, what would you like?

(Banging and shouting)

(Banging and crashing stops)

Now, then. What would you like?

Chef's hurt himself.

How badly?

lndescribably badly. He hit his head|on a frying pan 17 times.

(Eddie screams)

- You cook.|- I can't.

- Nor could Chef.|- Right.

- Now, then...|- (Banging)

(Sighs) How can I help you?

Where are your eggs from?

Hen's vaginas.

Ah...

We'd like two|full English breakfasts,

freshly squeezed orange juice,

coffee for one - ground not instant -

tea for one,|lightly toasted wholemeal bread,

and don't overcook the kidneys.

Boiled egg as usual, Mrs Foxfur?

Oh, yes, please.

Thought so.

Excuse me, I'll deal|with important guests first.

Oh, for Christ's sake!

Ahem.

Pheeb! One boiled egg.

Pheeb! Hello?

'Pheeb! Hello?'

Yes, hello. One boiled egg.

'Pheeb! Hello?'

Yes, hello!

'Pheeb! Who is it?'

Pheeb! It's Mr Thwaite.

'Pheeb! He's not here.|Can I take a message?'

Look, it's me! Stop embarrassing me|and just take the order!

(Eddie yelps)

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"Guest House Paradiso" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 3 Apr. 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/guest_house_paradiso_9394>.

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