Guddu Rangeela

1

Check!

Check! Check!

Guddu Rangeela and party

welcome all of you.

Let's start with the program..

"and as per tradition,

we begin with."

Guddu's joke.

Once a man went on a

world tour, to London.

He arrived in London.

And, while roaming

around he needed to pee.

He stood before a wall

and started peeing.

Suddenly...'the London

Police arrived.

They arrested him and took

him to the police station.

Anyway... he got out of

there and arrived in India.

Here he noticed that

anyone can pee anywhere.

He noticed Ghanta Singh peeing

in front of a huge wall.

He walked up to him and said..

"Singh sir.."

"doesn't the police catch

when you're peeing?"

To which Singh sir replied.

"No... one has to

do it by himself."

That's the end of Guddu's joke.

But coming up next is..

Yours, truly...

Mirpur's Kumar Sanu.

One and only item".

Rangeela!

First, heartiest

congratulations to..

..Lambardar Chaudhary Nafe

Singh's son Vinod Singh..

"for getting a visa to Kenya."

I wish that the lads from our

area keep getting visas..

"and they keep throwing

such visa parties."

What else could one ask for?

So let's begin, with a

modern devotional song.

And the song's called

"Mata's Email".

Clap!

So how much money does

that Lumbardar have?

Not much...

He was all show, no go.

His wife though was hot.

But his safe was dry and cold!

Around 10-12 kilos oi gold..

"and 5-7 lakhs in cash.

That's it.

Did you check properly"

..or were you busy inside?

Why're you being jealous?

You could've joined in.

There was room for two.

That's all he has.

Fine...

...we'll pass the information

to Pujari tomorrow morning.

Why do we always pass on

the information to Pujari?

We can do the looting too.

I've told you a thousand times.

Dont you get it?

I dont want to commit a crime.

I see.

Can I ask a question?

What's this that we're doing?

If it wasnt for the case..

..l wouldnt be doing

this job either.

And your greed will get

us killed some day.

This isnt greed.

We do all the hard work.

We do the research.

And pass the information to Pujari?

Why?

And what do we get?

Jack squat.

Think about it, bro.

If we do this job ourselves.

"we can be millionaires

in a month."

And when the month's over?

They'll put so many bullets

in your backside...

...youll never even

be able to sit again.

A little hard work and information

gets us a square meal.

Learn to be happy.

When will you think beyond

the one square meal?

Why cant we be gangsters?

Come.

Come on, I'll make

you a gangster.

Come.

Bro where are you taking me?

You want to be a

gangster, dont you?

Here.

Hold it.

Take it.

See that man?

- Shoot him.

- He hasnt done me any harm?

Why would I shoot him?

Why? Scared?

You're a gangster, aren't you? Shouldn't

make a difference who you kill.

Shoot him.

- Shoot.

- L..

I'll shoot him. I'm serious.

Shoot.

Think again, Rangeela,

I will shoot him.

Shoot! Gangster.

Shoot!

Keep it.

You win, I lose.

Okay?

You always do this to me

whenever I talk some sense.

No guts..but wants

all the glory.

Lambardar Nafe Singh.

From Palawaas?

Believe me, hes a gold mine.

His boys got a visa

and hes going abroad.

The guy's loaded.

I've never seen women

decked with so much gold.

At least 40-50 kilos of gold.

And cash...

Not a penny less

than 2.5 million.

Youve been making really

tall claims these days.

Remember that incident about

the doctor from Ambala.

"Pujari... hes loaded."

"He eats in a silver platter."

"Sleeps on a bed made of gold."

But I didnt get a single

penny when I raided his home.

Took four boxes of Crocin,

and they were also fake.

This is a sacred place. Atleast

you shouldnt lie in a temple.

What's this? 10,000?

- Pujari, that's too less.

- Give it back.

Sell your information

to someone else.

No no...

Its OK, we accept.

And yes, raid his mace

between 10pm and 11pm.

That's the time when the

power supply's cut.

And listen, dont get too

trigger happy and shoot.

The Chaudhary has

a number of guns.

' Maradona.

'Messi-baba' .

This is there too!

Hand me the trishool.

The triangle.

Give it to me.

Mangey Ram, what are you

doing here with that candle?

You tell me what you're doing here.

This is my heist.

How can this be your heist?

I paid 10,000 rupees

Guddu Rangeela.

"for giving me the

information of this house."

Oh hello! Pujari... l

paid them 50,000 as well.

Now get lost.

Here comes the 3rd one.

Now who's coming?

Khayali, who sold you

information of this place?

Guddu Rangeela. I paid

them 20,000 rupees.

Now, Run away you two.

Listen..I paid them too.

You both, get lost.

You think this is a tea party.

Get lost, and you too uncle.

You two get lost.

You two get lost.

..because I paid the highest

price tor this information.

Get lost!

Hands up.

"I paid them too"

..so that they dont

squeal about my wealth.

Bloody rascals. Hands up!

Arghhh! Guddu Rangeela!

Come in.

- I hope no one saw you coming in?

- No.

Here you go.

That's 80,000.

Look, Rangeela...

...l know you very well.

I wonder where you get

all this money from?

But lady justice is not

taking her blindfold off.

The decision could be

against our favor.

Dont blame me if

anything goes wrong.

What are you saying?

Blame you?

Youve done so much for us.

Youve been fighting our

war for the past 10 years.

You didnt even let

us get revealed.

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