Growing Up and Other Lies Page #2

take two cars and...

Option one is fortnight of

in-law bathtub shitting.

Yeah. Okay.

Not even a question.

I'm gonna go option two.

Uh.

Take the two cars...

Why is that not a question?

'Cause I can't even imagine

what Emma's parents would do.

I don't even wanna see it. Yeah.

If I was to sh*t

in their bathtub.

It's true and she shouldn't forgive you.

Nightmare.

No.

Shouldn't...

Where is your sense of romance?

I mean this is the love of

your life we're talking about.

Yeah but the love of your

life should leave you

if you defecate in the bathtub.

You're... Don't knock

freestyle defecation, man.

Okay, so that's

what you would do.

You're a bathtub, bathtub kinda guy?

I'm not knocking it

I just wanna be honest about it.

I'm just... I'm not You

don't have to lie about it

playing this game

I find it childish and silly.

Classic Gunderson.

Do they have museums in Ohio?

Oh f***.

F*** you.

You couldn't help yourself.

No, do you...

This is a dumb question.

Is that a serious question?

What museums are in Ohio?

- Uh, the...

- Excuse me.

Sorry.

We'll be quiet.

Yeah.

What is wrong with you?

Who? Which one?

Don't put your bare feet

on the bench up like that.

Come on.

She's right.

Put it down.

Sorry. Sorry.

People actually have

to sit there after you.

I got it.

Put your feet down.

I gotta put my socks on.

It's disgusting.

Okay. You've been moving around

and sitting there like

a child for 10 minutes.

You're just incredibly rude.

Okay, that's called

cognitive dissonance.

Yeah. Ding ding.

I said, excuse me.

Yeah, okay.

And I said that's what

we call cognitive dissonance.

Right, and then I put my sock on.

That's what happened.

So, we've have covered everything.

Come on, Barb.

Oh, don't drag

Barbara into this. BILLY: Yeah.

I'm gonna request that

you boys be thrown out.

No. Wait, wait, no, no, no.

- No don't do that.

- No.

Why don't we just step outside.

You me, Tweety Bird there.

Let's take you out

for a nice juicy steak.

Yeah.

We're young.

We're flirty.

We're nervous. I'm nervous

around older women.

Because I assume you're

older, I'm not sure.

We could all

just have a little fun.

So let me ride the

lightning of your love.

I would definitely get that little

canary to sit on my finger.

Come on.

F*** you!

Oh!

Shhh!

You're in a museum.

Have some respect.

Excuse me?

You really should

get your feet off there.

Oh, dude.

For real it's disgusting.

How old are you?

She's got a great point.

Really? Okay.

Yeah.

Billy, let me ask

you a question.

Do you have a single independent

thought in that head of yours?

Why are we friends

with you again?

Yeah, why are we even

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes