Grandpa's Great Escape Page #3

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It's Bunting.

Bumting, like I said.

Hello there, Quartermaster.

I have very special offer

for today, 15 cans of...

.. Quatro -- for the price of 14.

Er, no thanks.

What has a hazelnut in every bite? Topic!

Or any of these other bars which

melted in the window with it.

I'm quite partial to a Smartie.

Those I have, both -- traditional

and limited edition green ones.

Really, they're mouldy Revels.

Er, standard issue will be fine.

Er, you will find them

under the puzzle magazines

next to the correcting fluid.

You look troubled, Master Bumting.

Grandpa's coming to live with us.

Splendid.

I just, I worry about

whether it'll work out.

Do not fret, Indian families

always take in the older generation,

it works without fail, even

when Auntie Pia sings Wham Rap

at the top of her voice when

I'm trying to watch the snooker.

Either Grandpa comes to live with us

or he'll be sent to Twilight Towers.

Oh, no.

What?

Oh, no, no. I've heard very bad

things about Twilight Towers.

- What? - They say the only

way out of that place is...

.. in a coffin.

Do you really want to hurt me...

What a fine-looking woman.

We can't leave him in

the house on his own.

No.

Well, what are we going to do?

Tomorrow's the launch of the

Country Diary Of An Edwardian Lady

roll-on deodorant.

Well, I've got a really

big day at work tomorrow,

I've got to test all

the new traffic cones.

- Have I ever told you how

I judge them? - Many times.

Durability, colour, attractive shape.

Why did I marry you?

- Jack, you're going on a

school trip tomorrow? - Yep.

Well, you'll have to take Grandpa

with you. Where are you going?

- War museum.

- Perfect.

You can take him along.

He loves a bit of war.

Fine replicas, Squadron Leader.

I wish they were real.

The Spitfire's like nothing else,

you can turn on a sixpence.

Grandpa? When you...

Er, we need to listen

out for enemy aircraft.

That's Shelley's stupid boyfriend Dazza.

Mum, I mean, the air commander,

says lights out by 9:00.

I hope you don't snore,

I can't abide snorers.

- I don't think I do.

- Well, goodnight, Squadron Leader

and thank you for sharing your

quarters, very decent of you.

Glad to help, sir. Goodnight.

Right, everyone, Rubik's

Cubes down! Eyes up, looking!

Looking!

I want to remind everyone that

this is an educational trip,

we will not have a repeat of

the tomfoolery at the zoo...

I don't want to find a live

penguin in Gavin Macey's rucksack!

Got that?

Good.

You're not in year six, why are you here?

He's my grandpa, Miss.

Yeah, I can surmise that.

He was a Spitfire pilot in the war.

Well, if he promises to be

educational, he can come.

Thank you, Miss.

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