Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer Page #2

But grandmas shouldnt talk that way.

Grandma,

if this store were mine,

Id sell it.

Cousin Mel,

this store will never be yours.

Oh, yeah!

Well see.

Cousin Mel was wrong.

You can keep a store going

on goodwill and baked goods.

By the looks of my house

at Christmas time

youd think grandma was single-handedly

supplying the entire free world

with Christmas goodies.

The way I see it, you can divide

the world into two groups:

People who like fruitcake,

and all the rest of us.

The holidays were upon us

and things were going fine

till the day I heard the doorbell

and a chill ran up my spine.

I grabbed the wife and children

as the postman wheeled it in.

My yearly Christmas nightmare

has just come back again:

It was harder than the head

of uncle Bucky,

heavy as a sermon of preacher Lucky,

ones enough to give the whole state

of Kentucky a great big bellyache.

It was denser than a drove of

barnyard turkeys,

tougher than a truckload of all-beef jerky

drier than a drought in Albuquerque

grandmas killer fruitcake.

Youre a great helper, Jake.

Now, just stir that bowl of ingredients

and its ready for the oven.

Grandma, Jake,

Im afraid Doofus got out again.

I cant find him anywhere.

Why, I wonder where that adorable dog

could have run off to this time.

Come on, Jake.

Hah! I dont know who buys your

cakes and cookies

but this will for darn sure

make everyone sick.

That ought to stop people

from shopping at the store

and with no customers youll

have to sell, grandma!

Doofus was right next to the fireplace.

Must have missed him.

What were you saying?

Id have to sell?

Oh, sell a lot, the way

these pastries taste.

Careful, grandma. Dont drink too much

eggnog without your medication.

Youd think at my age youd

outgrow an allergy to eggs.

Now, whered I put those pills?

Ive got some mistletoe and holly. Whos

going to help me with the decorating?

Cant. Have to call my boyfriend.

Sorry, grandma, got to dash to the gym.

Uh, Id love to, but Frank

The games just starting on TV.

Ill help you, grandma.

My little man.

Thanks.

Nobody understood me like grandma did.

Christmas time was as important to her

as it was to me.

Well, we did it.

Thats right on the nose, Jake.

We did it.

The sooner you go to sleep,

he sooner Santa will come.

Grandma, Daphne says

heres no such thing as Santa.

Well, thats because she

doesnt believe like I do.

Have you ever seen him?

No, but Ive seen him in the smiles of people

who share with others every Christmas.

If you ever run into him, say hi for me.

Good night, Jake.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer

walking home from our house

Christmas Eve.

You can say theres no such thing

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