Grabbers Page #2

My family thought I was mad,

wasting my time on him.

- Ah, feck them.

- Ah, feck you, Brian.

- Same again?

- Pour on.

- What is it, Paddy?

- Wouldn't you like to know.

- Not really, no.

- You would, though.

- No, not really.

- You would.

If you were to know what I know,

you'd want to know.

- All right, tell us then.

- Right, you are.

Between you and me, I caught

meself a sea monster today.

Swear to God, may He strike me down.

- You don't believe me?

- Not a bit.

I am not a liar.

- Huh!

- Feck off, you!

All right, where is it?

- In me bathtub.

- In your bathtub?

Having a bath.

Good night, Paddy.

Ignorant bollocks.

- What?

- Huh?

- What did you say?

- Nothing, didn't say a word.

He called you a bollix (idiot).

If this wasn't the only fekkin'

pub on this shittin' island,

I'd piss in it sooner than come in here!

Fine, you are barred.

Ah... I am joking. Come on now,

another one here now.

They are coming to get you, Barbara.

- They are coming for you.

- Stop it! You are acting like a child!

They are coming for you, Barbara.

Look! There comes one of them now!

- He'll hear you!

- Here he comes now.

Irene! Irene!

- What?

- Someone's at the door!

I'm not dressed!

All right, all right.

That better not be Paddy

and his stinking lobster.

It's the bloody Declan Cooney,

and he's pissed as a fart.

Don't give that cowboy any money. You're

gonna piss it up against the wall!

Cooney, you look like death.

What are you doing?

What does he want?

To dance?

Jesus, Cooney! Are you all right, mate?

Cooney?

Tadhg! Tadhg! Tadhg!

- Tadhg!

- Oh, my God!...

Tadhg! Oh! Tadhg!

Irene!

Tadhg! Tadhg!

Okay... okay... okay...

Okay...

Sweet Jesus Christ, okay...

Okay, okay, this is easy.

Okay, okay, okay, I can do this.

- Hi.

- Come on down for a drink.

No, I have work tomorrow.

You know, it doesn't matter.

Nobody's checking up on you.

It doesn't matter out here.

- You are drunk.

- No, I'm not. No.

Is that right?

Say the alphabet backwards for me.

Em...

Zed...

Et cetera.

- I hope you are not driving.

- I'm taking Johnny's horse, yah...

You are gonna ride a

horse while intoxicated?

Yeah, so, the horse is sober.

- Well, that's just brilliant.

- It's great.

It's great that you are in charge here.

Em, listen, em...

I think we got off on the wrong foot.

It's okay. I'm fine.

It's nothing.

Last drink's gone straight to me head.

Do you get this drunk every night?

Just... high days and holidays.

Let's get you to bed.

Now you are talking.

Brian, ugh...

Oh, ya little... such pa...

Desist herself.

Do I have something to sign?

Oh, yes, the big one.

- Looks like it should be nice out.

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