Going Postal

Synopsis: Based on Terry Pratchett's 33rd Discworld novel involves a skillful con artist Moist Von Lipwig who finds the tables turned and it's he himself who conned into becoming the Ankh-Morpork Postmaster General. A position that has not been filled in years.
  2 wins & 5 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.8
Year:
2010
185 min
23 Views

of your final words.

l wasn't actually expecting to die.

Very good.

We haven't had that one before(!)

Everybody ready?

Not me. Not me.

Oh, you are a card, sir.

(LAUGHS)

l bring an edict from Lord Vetinari,

Patrician of Ankh-Morpork.

(LAUGHS) A reprieve!

He says to get on with it.

(SPECTATORS CHEER)

The last words, sir?

l commend my soul to any god

that can find it.

Very nice, we'll go with that.

(CHEERlNG)

(EXHALES)

Ah, Mr Lipwig, l see you are awake.

(STRAlNS)

And still alive at the present time.

Ooh!

You've danced the sisal two-step.

lt's a very precise science,

hanging a man,

and Mr Trooper is a master.

But only an expert

would have spotted

that you were hanged to within

an inch of your life.

The last inch being

the crux of the matter.

You see, sometimes,

when a man has made such a foul

and tangled mess of his life

that death appears

to be the only option...

..an angel appears

and offers him a change of life.

l should like you

to think of me as that angel.

l'm offering you a new life.

(GULPS)

And a job.

(SPLUTTERS)

Little sips.

Now, perhaps, l should point out

that door behind you.

lf, after hearing my proposition,

you wish to leave,

you have only to step through

that door

and you will never hear

from me again.

The job in question is to reopen

the Ankh-Morpork Post Office.

The Post Office?

Mmm.

A moment.

Oh!

(EXHALES)

'Certain death or the Post Office?'

'Hardly a choice,

more an alternative.'

'l'd seen enough of the inside

of a coffin for one day.'

You see, the really interesting

thing about angels...

..is that you only ever get the one.

Do we understand each other,

Mr Lipwig?

Perfectly. (LAUGHS)

Welcome to government service.

And the wage is $20 a week.

Not bad at all.

Please.

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Going Postal" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 17 Sep. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/going_postal_9116>.

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