Going Postal

Synopsis: Based on Terry Pratchett's 33rd Discworld novel involves a skillful con artist Moist Von Lipwig who finds the tables turned and it's he himself who conned into becoming the Ankh-Morpork Postmaster General. A position that has not been filled in years.
  2 wins & 5 nominations.
185 min

of your final words.

l wasn't actually expecting to die.

Very good.

We haven't had that one before(!)

Everybody ready?

Not me. Not me.

Oh, you are a card, sir.


l bring an edict from Lord Vetinari,

Patrician of Ankh-Morpork.

(LAUGHS) A reprieve!

He says to get on with it.


The last words, sir?

l commend my soul to any god

that can find it.

Very nice, we'll go with that.



Ah, Mr Lipwig, l see you are awake.


And still alive at the present time.


You've danced the sisal two-step.

lt's a very precise science,

hanging a man,

and Mr Trooper is a master.

But only an expert

would have spotted

that you were hanged to within

an inch of your life.

The last inch being

the crux of the matter.

You see, sometimes,

when a man has made such a foul

and tangled mess of his life

that death appears

to be the only option...

..an angel appears

and offers him a change of life.

l should like you

to think of me as that angel.

l'm offering you a new life.


And a job.


Little sips.

Now, perhaps, l should point out

that door behind you.

lf, after hearing my proposition,

you wish to leave,

you have only to step through

that door

and you will never hear

from me again.

The job in question is to reopen

the Ankh-Morpork Post Office.

The Post Office?


A moment.



'Certain death or the Post Office?'

'Hardly a choice,

more an alternative.'

'l'd seen enough of the inside

of a coffin for one day.'

You see, the really interesting

thing about angels...

..is that you only ever get the one.

Do we understand each other,

Mr Lipwig?

Perfectly. (LAUGHS)

Welcome to government service.

And the wage is $20 a week.

Not bad at all.


Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Uwe Boll

Uwe Boll (German: [ˈuːvə ˈbɔl]; born June 22, 1965) is a German-born Canadian restaurateur and retired filmmaker. He financed his own films through his production companies Boll KG and Event Film Productions. Many of his films were produced on low budgets and Boll himself had backed his projects financially or made use of crowdfunding platforms. Boll's filmmaking career is generally divided into two distinct phases: the first consists of big budget films with a usually renowned cast, most of which gained him a reputation as a "schlock maestro", while receiving highly negative reviews from critics, with Alone in the Dark being considered one of the worst films ever made. However his second phase is marked by films with a smaller budget or were independently made, relatively unknown actors and different approaches to filmmaking; Boll's Rampage film series, Tunnel Rats, Stoic, Amoklauf, Heart of America, Assault on Wall Street and Darfur have been better (or mildly well) received by critics. After losing financing and facing constant criticism, Boll partially retired from filmmaking in 2016 to work in the restaurant industry. He opened his Bauhaus Restaurant in Vancouver, which has earned positive reviews among food critics. more…

All Uwe Boll scripts | Uwe Boll Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018


Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Español (Spanish)
  • Esperanto (Esperanto)
  • 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Português (Portuguese)
  • Deutsch (German)
  • العربية (Arabic)
  • Français (French)
  • Русский (Russian)
  • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • 한국어 (Korean)
  • עברית (Hebrew)
  • Український (Ukrainian)
  • اردو (Urdu)
  • Magyar (Hungarian)
  • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italiano (Italian)
  • தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Türkçe (Turkish)
  • తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Čeština (Czech)
  • Polski (Polish)
  • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Românește (Romanian)
  • Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latinum (Latin)
  • Svenska (Swedish)
  • Dansk (Danish)
  • Suomi (Finnish)
  • فارسی (Persian)
  • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English (English)

Discuss this Going Postal script with the community:


Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


"Going Postal" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 30 Mar. 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/going_postal_9116>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

Watch the movie trailer

Going Postal

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

The Studio:

ScreenWriting Tool

Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.

Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.