Girlfriends of Christmas Past Page #2

who donates his holiday bonus

to the Red Cross every year,

shows up destined

to meet with you.

With a hot, closeted

twin brother?

[whispers] Exactly.

You know what? You're right.

You're right.

This New Year's going to be

a whole new start for me.

Next time Anderson sees me,

he's going to be sad and alone,

and I'm going to be with

someone even better.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

[spits]

- What?

- Nothing.

- What just happened?

- Nothing.

[gasps]

[laughs] Come here!

[Livvy gasps]

Oh, okay. Thanks.

- You scared me. Oh my gosh.

- I'll let you go.

Oh my God.

I can't breathe.

I can't breathe.

Whoa, Livvy! Just put down the

cupcake and let's talk about this.

[mumbles] That big fat cheater!

Maybe he just started

seeing her?

You're right, he's a cheater.

How could I not know

he was a cheater?

You know what?

I should go down there and tell

that child that he's a jerk.

Before he takes her back for what

clearly is a 10 p.m. curfew.

Okay!

If you wanna come across looking

like a psychotic stalker ex.

Unleash the beast, Tyler!

Livvy, if you want revenge,

just blast his past all over

the Web for the world to see.

True revenge is a dish

best served over social media.

What are you

talking about? Dish?

Rateyourex.com?

It's that site where people go

to complain about their exes.

[muttering]

And how do you know all this?

I always do rigorous background

checks on my paramours.

How else would I know about all their

favorite movies and music before I meet them?

All the girls are doing it.

How have you not heard

about this?

Because you're my only

girlfriend, Ty.

And I can't just blast Anderson on a

website for the whole world to see.

Why not? He publicly humiliated

you in front of your family.

You even said your mom sent you

home with a plate of leftovers

labelled

"Livvy Hearts Anderson."

I say, out his sorry butt.

Because even if I did,

he would know it was me.

And then I would be

Livvy the loony ex.

Not if you're not the first one.

No, no. This was

an isolated incident

because he thought

we were getting too serious.

He got scared and dated some thing

that he cares nothing for. Okay?

[laughs] Okay.

Whatever keeps those sugar plums

dancing in your head at night, dear.

[giggles] Hi.

Hi.

[typing]

[phone vibrates]

Livvy, put down the wine.

Put down the barbell, Ty.

[Livvy] Listen, you were right.

I went to that site,

and two of his exes had just posted

there and they were just the locals.

I'm not going to say I told

you so, but I told you so.

So, I'm actually meeting PrincessPie82

and Fitigator for coffee tomorrow.

Princess what and Fit-n-gay who?

The girls Anderson dumped

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