Girl Flu. Page #3

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She is a baby!

You are gonna be fine.

[Bird] It didn't work.

Hey.

Go get me a pair of your

underwear.

Yeah.

Oh my god.

- Make sure it's clean!

- Yeah, yeah.

Okay, so there's another

option, there's um,

oh here we go!

The pad.

As I like to call it, the

diaper.

Why the diaper you might ask?

Well because.

They're itchy, they're hot,

they make you waddle like a

duck.

They have wings.

They have wings, that is

right.

And so...

Goddamnit.

Just like so.

And you go like that and

you put it up, ba ba ba.

(pops)

Oh I hate those things, I only

wear 'em

if I have to double down.

[Lilli] Give me one of those.

Hey, you quit.

Not today my friend, not

today.

(lighter clicking)

I've been so worried about this.

About, yeah, well.

(clears throat)

You know I guess I have

to say that you know

I think it's probably

you know it's, I think...

I've got nothing, I don't know.

(laughing)

That's right, you don't

have any sisters do you?

No.

I got a mom.

Bit of a narcissist, workaholic

father.

That's it.

Explains so much.

- (laughing)

- Screw you.

Celeste is not gonna kiss me

for a week

because I've been smoking.

(laughing)

Doesn't this count as an

emergency?

Yeah, it does for Jenny.

Oh what can you do?

I'll see you soon my friend.

Love you.

[Lilli] Love you too.

[Bird] Sorry I made

you sleep on a maxi pad.

Please don't go.

I actually do have to go.

No!

Stupid band practice.

I bet you were

a sexy nerdy band guy, weren't

you?

You were.

Please don't go, it's my night

off.

But you know Bird probably

needs some...

Some time with you.

But I could maybe sneak in

after she goes to sleep.

Arlo, I'm scared.

I know.

- Hi!

- Mom!

What?

- Popcorn?

- No!

Okay.

Oh crap.

I hate this banana.

Can we please take it down?

I love that banana!

I painted that, you know?

Yeah, I know.

Oh god I just realized.

What?

I could be a grandma.

What?

Once you get your

period you can have babies

and if you can have babies

then I can be a grandma.

I can't be grandma!

That's disgusting!

I know!

It's totally freaking me out!

Mom.

Stop talking.

Do we need to talk about sex?

I mean I realize I should've

talked to you

about the whole period thing

sooner,

but do we need to have the sex

talk?

Do I need to buy you a box of

condoms?

[Bird] Oh my god.

Grandma has the Magic of

Sex around here somewhere

and it has really good pictures.

Mom, you know what?

Stop talking now.

Okay I've just had the

worst day of my life.

Everyone knows!

Carlos knows.

Mmm.

Who's Carlos?

Is he your boyfriend?

Why didn't you tell me?

Okay.

Oh hey.

Do you like me in this dress?

No, Grandma's gonna kill you!

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