Girl Flu. Page #2

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want me

to do right now because I can do

it.

I mean Grandma is gonna

flip over those jeans

but let's not talk about that

right now.

But I mean when I got my

first period she did not

handle it well, she was all

like "here's a pamphlet,

"I hope you don't have any

questions."

And then slam.

I was at the picnic.

In white jeans.

Okay, everybody saw.

That girl Rachel told everybody!

I don't even know what to do!

Da da da da da

Happy first day of your first

period.

You're not helping.

I am trying to cheer you up.

It's not my fault if you don't

let me.

(humming)

I'll catch up with you guys.

Dude that's her house.

Oh.

Okay I see.

That's cool.

You know what they say.

Old enough to bleed, old enough

to breed.

Dude!

Dude you don't even

know what that means.

Hey man.

Hey.

She home?

Yeah.

I wouldn't.

I wouldn't do that if I were

you.

Why not?

Can you just give this to her

please?

Which her?

Robin, she's in my class.

Oh you mean Bird.

Yeah.

Alright, will do.

Alright cool.

Oh sorry.

Will you show me?

What?

You know.

The stuff.

The stuff?

It's not really like that.

It better not be.

Okay, you know I can do this.

Yeah I mean that is, nobody

stands when they do it.

Okay so, it, you know, you're

like that,

and then, you know, you open up

a thing

and you're like right up

in there, maybe this way.

And you're like in its spot.

You know mine veers a little to

the left

so you never really know.

You're terrible at this.

I am trying.

I want Lilli.

Okay.

Find a comfortable position.

That's bullshit.

You're just gonna want to squat

down

and find something to hold

onto so you don't fall.

I could fall?

Blah blah blah, into

vaginal canal, blah,

I mean seriously, who wrote

this.

Man, you are gonna push this

thing

all the way into your vagina.

You understand about vaginas,

you know how to find it?

I think so.

Okay, good.

So once this is really

in there you're gonna

push this thing up like this,

(pops),

out that comes, you're

gonna pull this stuff out,

this is the only thing that

stays in here.

You have a little cotton

tail so you can pull it

out again later.

Right, make sure you

don't lose it up there

or forget about it.

Wait, I could lose it?

- It sometimes does.

- It doesn't get lost.

How many times do I have to do

this?

It depends.

- On what?

- On the flow.

Yeah.

And how many days?

- Like about five.

- Like eight.

Jesus.

Okay well there's your

tampon, here's your mirror.

Good luck, let's go.

I should have told her about

all this.

Crap, I totally should have

told her about this right?

It's okay, she's gonna be

fine.

I am not ready for this.

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