Gigli Page #3

- Sure.

The phone's right there.

- I promise it'll only take a minute.

- All right.

Hello.

What are you doing?

Go sit down in the kitchen.

These computer answering things,

they drive me nuts.

- You're making a telephone call.

- Right, she's making a telephone call.

Don't call Baywatch

because they're closed today.

I wouldn't think of it.

I'm sorry, I got to ask.

Do we know each other?

Not yet.

I'm Ricki.

Larry Gigli, right?

- I saw it on the mailbox.

- Yeah, it's pronounced Gigli.

Rhymes with really.

- It's nice to meet you, Larry Gigli.

- Nice to meet you, Larry.

What's your name?

Bob.

- You're stupid. That's not my name.

- That's not your name?

- What is your name, sweetie?

- That's it. His name's Bob.

- His name's not Bob.

- Your name is Bob.

Whatever your name is...

has anyone ever told you

you're a very handsome young man?

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Sure.

In private.

I can't f***ing believe this.

It's an unexpected bonus. Who'd have

thought you were a babe magnet?

- You're better than a dog.

- You're a dog, you dog-head piss-fart!

Whatever.

You know,

I heard you were a bit of a fuckup.

But I gotta tell you, I'm frankly amazed

at how much of a fuckup you actually are.

- Am I missing something here?

- It would seem so.

Why don't you call Louis

and he'll explain everything to you.

I don't know that I know any Louis.

Then I guess he hasn't called you

to tell you he doesn't trust you...

with a task of this magnitude.

That he feels the stakes are too high.

- Nope.

- "Nope."

I guess he also probably

hasn't called to tell you...

that he'd feel more comfortable if there were

two independent, unacquainted...

perhaps even mutually hostile

contractors working on this...

so they could keep an eye on one another.

Nope. There's no reason

for you to take my word...

for precisely

how second-rate he considers you.

It'd probably make both our lives a lot easier

if you just heard it directly from him.

That's good stuff. I had that today.

- Excuse me one minute.

- Sure.

Louis, you there?

I'm here. What do you want?

Yeah, there's this...

young lady here trying to tell me that...

All right, this thing is monumental.

Certainly too big for a jerk-off like yourself,

but I had no choice.

This thing represents my ass and my future.

I want you to work with her and I want you

to watch her as she will be watching you.

I want you to know...

that I will personally excoriate

anyone responsible...

for the tiniest fuckup in this action.

- And I want you to understand that.

- Yes, Louis.

"Yes, Louis"?

Do you happen to know

what "excoriate" means?

It's not coming to me at the moment.

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