George Carlin: Doin' It Again Page #2
- Year:
- 1990
- 60 min
- 579 Views
shuts up at the same time.
And only your voice,
can be heard.
Right, I know.
I know.
Well, what I'm going to do,
I'm going to have
my testicles laminated.
Life's little moments.
You ever been
talking to someone
and you laugh
through your nose
and blow a snot
on your shirt.
And you have to just
kind of keep talking,
you know,
and make believe
it's part of the design.
Works all right if you're
wearing a Hawaiian shirt,
but otherwise
they're going to notice.
Ed, you got a big
snot on your shirt.
Some guys are
really cruel, you know.
And some of these things
are not even your fault.
These little
things that happen,
you didn't cause
the situation,
a lot of time
you're the victim.
You walk into
some situation,
and suddenly you're the one
who's taking all the heat.
Not your fault.
Give you an example of
the kind of thing I mean.
Did you ever meet somebody
and you go to
shake the guy's hand
and you suddenly realize
he doesn't have
a complete hand?
And you got to make
believe it feels great,
Right, you can't go ahhhhhhhh,
ahhhhhhhh!
Ahhhhh!
You can't do that.
It's not even an option.
You got to hang
in there and say hi,
hey, swell hand.
Give me three.
Hi 3, yo!
Not your fault.
You didn't cause that.
You weren't even there
when it happened to the guy.
You were probably
out walking your dog,
which is what
I'm usually doing,
walking my dog.
Because I love my dog.
I love all my dogs.
I love every dog I ever had.
I remember them all,
and I love every one of them,
still love all my dogs.
And I've had me a
lot of God damn dogs.
In my lifetime I have had me
Because you do keep getting
a new dog, don't you?
You just keep getting
one dog after another.
That's the whole
secret of life.
Life is a series of dogs.
It's true, you just keep
getting a new dog, don't you?
That's what's good about them,
they don't live too long.
And you can go get
a new God damn dog.
Sometimes you can get a dog
looks exactly like the dog
you used to have, right?
you can find a dog
identical to your former dog.
And that's real handy
because you don't
have to change
the pictures on your
mirror or anything,
right?
You just bring the dead
one into the pet shop,
throw him up
on the counter,
say give me
another one of them.
That was real good.
And they'll give
you a carbon copy
of your ex-God damn dog.
Now, my favorite dog
that I ever had in my
whole lifetime was Tippie.
Tippie was a good dog.
Some of you remember,
Tippie was a good dog.
Tippie was a mixed terrier.
You know that word mixed
that the veterinarian
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